We Who Are Jaded

Chapter Seven

In my selfishness, I could only have been described as being rude to Mack on that peculiar car ride home. If I hadn't been so vainly preoccupied with my pity party, I would have been ashamed of myself but Kieran, as usual, was so much on my mind I was both the jailer and the prisoner of my own thoughts.

Those sad indigo eyes pained me. Though unexpected, I mourned the missing mischief and accepted the apology they had offered. I couldn't be mad, this was a part of the man I was choosing but that didn't mean I couldn't worry. It was irrational though - this was the world that had been Kieran's game for centuries and he was well practised in playing it. Still, it was this profound anxiety that caused me to stare blindly out of the window, past the rolling hills of Fife and made me ignorant of the talkative Indigo sitting beside me. 

After a while Mack became wise to my ignorance as his voice, once a background noise, faded into nothing. While at first it had been my ambition to create a good impression, it was now a priority I'd all but forgotten. Maybe Mack would understand and see in my disregard for him a longing for someone he cared for too. 

One could only hope...

As the Land Rover pulled up in front of my flat I remained oblivious. The conflict of whether or not to steal away in Kieran's mind consumed me, so much so that Mack and I may have sat there for hours and I wouldn't have known any better.   

Eventually, Mack gave my shoulder a gentle, cool and sincere squeeze. I blinked, finally seeing through the beginnings of another rain storm the lights of the tenement building. My brow furrowed as I turned to face Mack. 

I realised with a suddenness that almost winded me that I had never really taken Mack in. He really was the stereotypical burly, ginger Scotsman - you wouldn't have believed it was possible but here he was. 

His kind indigo eyes drank me in and I felt every bit as small as I was in comparison to his rolling muscles. 

"I see yaer worried lass but it'll dae yae no good." He took his hand from my shoulder and scratched his scruff. "Kieran is'nae so weak as he appears tae be, he's taken on mountains. Fear will destroy whitever hope yaer relationship has 'nd yaer bigger than that - a' can tell," Mack said. I blushed, only just considering how easy I was to read but grateful for Mack - still akin to a stranger - and his  words of assurance. 

"Thanks Mack, I...I appreciate that." My hand lingered on the door handle. I bit my lip searching the floor for a moment and then set my sights once more on the great giant beside me. "You'll look after him for me, won't you?" I swallowed, aware it was a ridiculous as it sounded. Mack chuckled, bring his hands to rest on the steering wheel.

"Nae bother Chris. Yae just take care o' yerself. Alright?" Even though there was something goofy about his broad grin, in it I could not mistake Mack's sincerity. 

"I will." I propped the door open and grimaced as a spattering of rain greeted me. "Thank you for the ride home. Sorry I wasn't more sociable," I said, jumping down from the seat. 

"Och no worries, as Kieran's probably told you, I talk a lot of bollocks anyways." I couldn't help the smile that pulled at my face as I closed the car door. It probably said a lot for my character that such brashness was enough to brighten my mood. 

Mack saluted as he revved the engine and pulled away from the pavement. I waved as he sped down the road and off towards his master who lay in wait of him. Though illogical, I couldn't help for a moment wondering what I wouldn't have given to have objected to every Indigo's wish for me and followed where they went. It was with this thought in mind that I retired from the rain and up the stairs to the flat.    

My musing were brought to a close as I encountered the front door ajar, as though awaiting me. I walked across the threshold, hoping that I might make a run for my room before finding out the cause for the open door. Cautiously, I closed the front door and locked it.