The Selfish Submissive

Just Friends

-Monica

Dylan kicked me out of her office and is treating me like I'm any other employee she has. She says she's not mad at me and that it was always her plan for me to have my own desk. I was just using her office during my training process. It was true technically she said I'd have my own space but now that I have it I want nothing more than to be in her office and be close to her again. I miss our random conversations or annoying her with questions. I miss stealing glances at her while she worked. It's harder to fantasize about her bending me over her desk when I'm nowhere near it. I don't even have my morning meetings like we used to anymore I just set her coffee on her desk and then stay at mine until she calls for me. Brian and Liam didn't mention anything else about it they pretty much just acted like nothing happened and so did I.

Things with Trinity seem ok I guess I mean we're still good and hanging out but I don't know something feels off. I asked her if she was upset with me for not leaving with Dylan that night but she told me she understood and that she wanted me to do what was best for me. Like Dylan, she said she wanted me to be happy. I feel like happiness doesn't exist in this life for me. I'm grateful for what I have my best friend who I love is still by my side and I have a great job that's helping me dig my way out of this financial hole I live in.

On the bright side, Trin likes Kaylan so at least I know that the three of us can hang out in the future. Though I doubt she'll ever come to Sir Myer's house knowing my best friend if she ever met him she'd probably have some choice words for him. Either way, I meet up with him again tomorrow it'll be my second time running a scene with him, and then from there I will most likely make my decision on whether or not I want to take him on as my Dom. We've talked on the phone and texted on and off since we met. He's nice enough I never told him about my feelings for Dylan though especially after the way he treated her.

I was grateful to Kaylan for not telling my secret and allowing me to vent when things got to much for me. He promised not to tell Sir Myers though he said it was hard because he tells his Master everything. I appreciated him for that but was scared that he had that information. He acted like he was going to say something to Trinity when we went out to eat the other day. I kicked him under the table to shut him up and then changed the subject luckily Trin didn't catch on.

It was almost time to call it quits for the day. I knocked on Dylan's door I had some things to talk to her about before I left for the weekend. When I entered the room she looked up to see who it was and then looked back at her computer. She was unphased by my presence I started to wonder if she ever felt anything or if it was always in my head. How long did I pretend like she liked me like she looked at me with lust and desire? How long did I believe her jokes and teasing were her flirting with me? She was just being nice to me because I was Trinity's best friend that's all I don't know why I allowed myself to believe it was more.

"Can we talk when you get a break? I need to talk to you about something, not work-related if it's ok," I said taking a seat in the chair in front of her desk.

"Uh Yeah sure, she said rubbing her temples. I should probably take a break anyway I've been staring at this computer for hours now, she replied.

I wondered what she was working on that had her so stressed and why she didn't ask me to help with it. I knew she had an event this weekend but she didn't ask me to help with it. It seemed like she stopped leaning on me so much after that day too but maybe I was just being sensitive. I did keep busy for the most part. Either way, I needed to talk to her and I had a feeling this wasn't going to go off well. Which is why I waited til right before I left to bring it up this way we have the weekend to deal with our emotions about the whole thing.

"I think that it'll be better for me if I don't move in with you and Trinity," I said.

"What? Where is this coming from?" Dylan asked confused.