Past∥h.s

3 4

Chapter 34

The thumping in my chest suddenly became even louder than it was only just moments ago. My name left the mouth of the school principal and it was finally my turn to stand and walk up onto that big stage and collect some piece of paper. Really? How many years of this shit? And all they do is give us a hand shake and a piece of paper. I shake away my thoughts ans shakily stand from my chair within all the other students who are still waiting to be called.

I walk carefully to the big stage walking up just a few stairs and making my way to the principal. I think this was the most careful I have been of walking in my whole entire life. This was the fear of falling over, on stage at grad. I let out a breathe I seemed to be holding and I grasped the principals hand and shook it firmly. We exchanged smiles, I was handed my slip of paper and I went to stand with the other awarded students. I stared out into the crowd searching for Chelsea out there somewhere. I spotted Jack's little head the immediately Issy and then there was Chelsea. I gave her a little smile as she waved and I couldn't help but let some tears roll down my face as I watched her through the bright lights shining down on us. I really wished I had my mum right now. My hands began to shake and I try my absolute hardest not to breakdown. Rows of people begin to line up in front of me blocking my view of the crowd and the tears freely fall now that I was semi hidden by tall people in front of me. I start to have flashbacks of when I had a family, a mum, a loving dad and a baby sister. But now that is all gone. Nothing left of them. The realization now hits me harder than ever before. Now that I am graduating I really am all alone. I'm an official adult and Chelsea will surely be expecting me to move out soon enough. I choke out and the tears blur my vision but I don't have any where to go.

I hear shuffling from around me and hushed whispers, "Sorry, "Excuse me.", "I'm so sorry.", "Move.", "No I'm sorry."

All of a sudden familiar arms wrap around me and hold onto me tightly hugging me close to their chest.

"It's all going to be okay baby," Harry whispers in my ear. I nod and rest my head back on his shoulder letting out a sigh and holding onto his muscular arms wrapped around me.

*****

Harry's car rounded the car into the big car park. I squinted my eyes shut wishing I could disappear. I said I wouldn't be able to do this but Harry said different.

I stepped out of the car looking around the place gravestones and headstones every where. I instantly turned and walked to Harry grabbing onto his arm and most likely starting to shake. He started to rub my back through my graduation robe. I actually feel pretty ridiculous right now in a graduation robe, hat in the other hand. But I don't care. Not anymore.

Harry lead us through the maze soon enough we had arrived to special grave. I haven't seen it since the funeral day but I couldn't even look at the words on the stone. I couldn't. Harry took my phone from my clenched hand. I would probably break it if I kept a hold of it. He put the hat on my head looking me in the yes, giving me a kiss on the cheek and pushing me ever so lightly towards the grave.

I glanced down and saw the name and it knocked the air out of me just like it did last time. It took me a few moments to gather myself and remain collected and calm. I took a few steps closer to her and smiled ever so slightly as the tears spilled.

"I did it mum."

*****

I slid into my sheets resting my head on my pillow feeling the best I have in a long time. Seeing my mum was good for me and Harry knew it he just gave me the push I needed and I thanked him for that. I ended up sitting down and talking with her for over an hour. Harry sat with me, held my hand and rested my head on his shoulder as I spoke. It hurt me more that I didn't get a respond but I knew she would listen.

I unlocked my phone smiling when my lock screen showed my baby sister. I opened up my photos deciding to go through all of them from graduation. One caught my eye that I didn't recognize and it popped up. It was taken of me standing by the grave with my hat sat on my head and my robe flowing down to my ankles. I was staring down at the grave and you could see both happiness and sadness in my face. Harry must of taken it, he always took photos and he always said if there's a moment worth capturing then he will do just that. And I agreed with him. It was worth capturing and it spoke more than a thousand words. I immediately set it as my wallpaper on my phone before turning it off and resting my eyes.

"Thank you Harry."

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~thedaisygirl