Past∥h.s

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Chapter 30

2 weeks later

Zali's pov

It has been two weeks since the day Harry took me to hospital, two weeks since my mother passed on and two weeks I've spent grieving and crying with Harry by my side holding my hand. I feel horrible, it's just like how I felt when I lost my sister and it seems as though it's happening all over again.

I haven't been back to school yet and I really don't want to ever. Harry has been going because he has to and I told him he should go and that he doesn't have to stay with me 24/7. I made sure he knew I can manage alone. It was a lie because I can't get through it on my own, I can't. But I don't want to be a burden to Harry. But I am so thankful that Harry has been hanging around and I am so happy when he's around. He makes me feel happier and see the positive side of things.

I have been recovering slowly with the help of Chelsea, Harry and all of my friends. I don't want any pity because I hate it, I don't need people reminding me of my troubles and feeling sorry and treating me different because of them. I realise what's wrong and I just want to forget about it really.

I've been planning on going back to school soon, I do want to see all of my lovely friends again, I have been quite lonely sometimes. Some of the girls have been occasionally visiting and I'm so glad I have them as friends. They have helped me so much and have accepted me, they've helped me get through it a lot and I am so thankful. I love them all so much, they are all amazing.

I have gotten some self confidence back, not lots, but a little bit. I'm still working on it.

As far as I've heard my 'father' has been put into jail for a lot of things he's done over the many years, I have nothing to do with him any more and Chelsea is now my legal guardian and I am really happy with that. I've been forced to go to a counsellor, which I am not happy about. I don't want to talk to a stranger about what has happened to me. What my thoughts and feelings towards everything are. I've been a few times but I have been getting used to it slowly, more comfortable with the specific questions asked about my life.

Out of all of this, the worst part is I didn't even get to say goodbye. Not even one last proper mum hug, that hurt the most. And I ignored her because she hadn't spoken to me since I came to London. I feel so stupid for that and I feel as though I could of been a better daughter. I feel like I let her down and it probably wasn't even her fault that she hadn't contacted me. There would have been a lot going on that I wouldn't of been able to know about. A lot could have happened and all I was left was with is 'what if's'. And that is horrible. No answers, no understanding, no family. I have nothing left. So I better focus and make it a good one for me, to make my mum and baby sister proud. For them.

1 week later

I receive a knock on my door which I have come to be familiar with and recognise as Harry's. I walk steadily and slowly down the stairs, still weak and sore. I smile as I approach the door turning the knob to reveal a grinning Harry who immediately pulls me into a hug and rubbing my back.

"Good morning."

I smile as I hug him back tightly.

Today was the first day I was going back to school and I was excited but dreading it so much at the same time. I hear a quiet and polite cough from behind him. I pull out of the hug harry moving aside to stand next to me.

"El!" I scream as I hug her tightly.

"Hey love! You ready for your first day back!"

"I guess." I sigh, laughing slightly.

"This is just like your first day at our school." she giggled. I laughed along as I nodded my head in agreement.

"Loui!... And the rest of the gang." I laugh as I notice all of my friends walking up the driveway towards us. Jess, Scarlet, Laila, Jamie, Niall, Liam, and Zayn.

"Yeah about that, everyone wanted to see you so they tagged along." Harry laughed from beside me.

I smiled and waved to all of my wonderful friends standing before me feeling very grateful for the people I do have.

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~thedaisygirl