Reunited (appledash)

20% Better - Chapter 23

Rainbow's POV

I walk out of the building with a skip in my step. Unusual for me, especially since it was pouring rain outside. Despite the rain, I begin to walk the short journey home with a smile on my face—a smile that even the misery of the rain couldn't wash off.

I've just finished my AA meeting for today, making this my fourth since my first meeting just over a week ago, as well as the first time I've been to one without AJ. Initially, I missed her immensely; I felt so exposed without her, but as the meeting went on, I slowly started to feel okay on my own. Trying to imagine that AJ was next to me helped as well, especially at times throughout the meeting when I felt like I needed her there most of all.

I still don't feel 100% better yet, which does make me kinda frustrated if I'm being honest. I mean, understand things like this take a while, and I have to take it step by step, and Rome wasn't built in a day or whatever. In fact, I was actually talking about this in the meeting today. I guess I had this kind of presumption that I would feel. . .I dunno. . .differently by now. I know that I for sure feel better than I have in a while, but that's honestly not saying too much. Our meeting coordinator, Cheerilee, says that I'm putting way too much pressure on myself and that I'm actually doing a really great job, but she always seems to say that. . .everyone always says that to me. Like, I know I'm awesome and all, but the more people say the same thing back to me, the more it feels like they're just saying it to keep me going. . .like they don't actually mean it. Maybe they know that, deep down, other people being impressed by me is something that I rely on a little too much. The only person who doesn't just flatter me for the sake of it is AJ. Her praise means the world to me; it always has. She makes me feel so good about myself, like I deserve the praise I constantly get from everyone, but something inside me keeps on telling me that I don't deserve any of it. . .like I'm worthless.

This is basically what it's been like for me, for the past few days in particular. An emotional war in my mind. It feels like I have a billion emotions trying to battle for control over my thoughts, and I never know which one of them to listen to, so they all try to take control at once. It's fucking exhausting. I think so intensely about everything—so much so that I have literally just realised I've walked a few doors down from my apartment building. I turn in the other direction and walk back to where I came from. I reach the door and unlock it with my key before walking up the stairs to reach my apartment.

To say I'm excited to see AJ would be an understatement.

"Dash!" AJ comes running up to me as I walk through the door, hugging me tightly to my enjoyment.

"Hey gorgeous." I say quietly in her ear as we embrace.

AJ breaks the hug, taking my hand and leading me over to the sofa as she says, "Come on, look who came by!"

I see Pinkie Pie, Sunset, and Spitfire all chilling out on the couch together. They usher me over to sit with them.

"YAY DASHIE! YOU'RE BACK FROM YOUR MEETING! WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU!" Pinkie says. . .or I guess, screeches. A few days ago, Twilight got a call from her study partner in Antarctica saying that she was needed back there earlier than she had planned to be, so she had to leave immediately. Sunset was devastated, so Pinkie has been coming over every day ever since to help get Sunset through the sudden pain of Twi's absence. Pinkie has always been good company for her, and she's always fun to have around the apartment.

"Yeah, how was it?" Sunset asks. I look down at Sunset's hand and notice her holding a beer. My face drops immediately, and my eyes grow wide. Suddenly, everything rushes back. Cravings I haven't felt for days—an undeniable need for the bottle in the girl's hand. I freeze up completely; my emotions fighting now more than ever.