Freeing My Alpha: Book 2 of My Shy Alpha

Chapter 37

Content warning: mentions of death of a loved one

*****

Noah's breath comes out in short bursts like he's unwilling to breathe, pleading for reality to shift into something else. Anything else. It guts me.

He winces, his eyelashes suddenly darkening with the wetness pooling around them. "So— So m-maybe— I could've–?"

"No. If you went that day, they'd just find another chance, and another... Until they got what they wanted."

"S-so... There was nothing I could do?"

I shake my head, afraid of how he might take this information, now that it's finally landing.

But after a focused silence, Noah's shoulders relax. His head drops back as he closes his eyes. My heart pangs as a tear slides down his temple. He quickly tries to hide it with a hard rub over his eyes.

"Y-you really think there was nothing? Please, be honest. Pretend I'm not here, and speak the full truth." His voice is so fragile that my heart rips.

"T-the truth is–" I pick at my nails, rocking on my feet as I stare at him. "No, my love, I don't think you could've done anything to stop it. I know it's so hard to hear, and I'm so sorry to say it, but I think it was completely out of your power."

Noah lets out a slow, extended breath.

When he drops his chin to face me again, his eyes are their familiar deep teal. But they're also lined with an inflamed pink. He holds my face in his palms, gazing deep into my eyes.

"What are you thinking? I'm worried about you." I say.

Kissing my forehead, Noah stays there for a while, still catching his breath. "I'm thinking—" He clears the searing emotions from his throat. "If I hadn't met you, I would've willingly walked through life carrying that until I died." His words drop a weight in my heart, sending it down to my knees. "I'm thinking you keep saving my life, every single day."

I grip his hands, biting back tears. "And if you went back in time to stop it like you want to, they'd probably shoot you too, Noah. And I was waiting for you, even before I knew I was part Lycan. I would've kept waiting and waiting, not knowing you'd never arrive."

Noah whimpers, glomping onto me with his whole body. "No, you're right. I'm so fucking happy I'm here with you."

"Me too, Noah. Thank you for skipping your perimeter run that day."

"Thank you for surviving so much grief to make it to me."

With my face smushed into his chest, I close my eyes, breathing through our conversation.

Noah doesn't say anything more, sniffling for minutes on minutes until neither of us feel like crying anymore. His full-fingered grip on my back tells me he doesn't want to stop holding me, and I'm content to stay put.

But when I glance back at the time on the oven clock, I gasp. "Noah, it's almost time for the Pack Safety meeting!"

He groans, burying his nose into my shoulder.

"Should we cancel it?" I ask. "You've been through way too much emotional stress today."

"So have you. But if we don't come up with a solution about Mason tonight, I won't be able to sleep. Then I'll really be stressed."

I groan. "Okay, then we're going. But let's try to be gentle on ourselves tonight, okay?"

"Good. I like that thought, when it comes to you."