Freeing My Alpha: Book 2 of My Shy Alpha

Chapter 10

Noah pulls me into his lap. He's done so a million times, but I suddenly feel like I'm back in college, ready to frantically strip and get right to it for the first time with no clue foreplay exists.

But instead of kissing me, Noah rushes in with a heavy hug. I let out a small breath from the impact, but my eyes flutter in bliss as he gives my whole body a satiating, tight squeeze.

"I love you," he whispers. "I don't know what to do with myself again."

Wrapping my arms around him, I kiss the permanent mark I left on him, loving the pleasure-induced thrill it stirs in our bond. "You don't have to do anything. I love you too, just like this."

Keeping his torso tight against mine, Noah only leans back with his head. Our noses brush over each other as Noah's golden eyes meet mine.

"I want you," he whispers against my lips.

My stomach flips. He doesn't usually say things like that. I think he avoids it to overprotect me from feeling pressured, but I know Noah, and he only wants me if I want him back. And every piece of me wants him too.

As I crash my lips against his, his hands tighten against my waist, and I've never craved him more. It's wild how rapidly my body responds to him lately; I can physically feel my cervix lifting toward my belly button, every internal muscle preparing for Noah to enter me. I gasp for air between kisses, unable to catch my breath with how good it feels to be against him, my skin buzzing everywhere we meet.

Noah leans forward, carrying my weight until I'm safely nestled into the pillows behind me. Staring up at him, I tug his shirt off, and he unbuttons mine. My heart only hammers harder as he unlatches my front-fastened bra, leaving me bare with my clothes splayed at my sides.

But as he strips my pants, Noah freezes.

"What?" I ask, still breathless.

Noah clears his throat, opening his mouth to speak. He flattens his palm against my abdomen, dropping my heartbeat into my belly. I gasp at how sensitive my stomach feels beneath his gentle hands, especially now that there's meaning applied to it, and Noah's sharp gaze snaps to my face. When we meet eyes, he hurriedly moves his palm to my thigh.

"What's wrong?" My voice shakes through my exhale.

"W-well, I just realized— I initiated, but I wasn't clear about what I initiated, so—"

I suck in a tight breath. He's right: I said "yes," to sex, but did he mean sex without a condom?

"I mean, I–" I bite my lip, unsure what to say.

How do you even decide when it's the right time to bring a whole new life into the world? God, am I horrible for thinking I have the power to decide that?

"Hey," Noah whispers. My attention zips back to him. With one glance into his stable eyes, I melt into the pillows. Noah softly smiles. "There you go. There's no pressure. We've got time."

I prop myself on my elbows. "But I'm not sure I'll know when it's time."

Noah's concern flickers in our bond. "If it's not an immediate yes, I'm not comfortable with pushing it."

I frown. "I'm not sure if I've told you this before, but OCD is called the doubt disorder. No matter how hard I try, I will always doubt everything, forever, since I can't find absolute certainty in almost anything."

Noah's eyes widen. "Oh, shit, I wasn't thinking about that. I'm sorry." Biting his lips, Noah runs his hands down my sides. "T-then what do you think would be better? I mean, an immediate yes might not be a good merit, but maybe what I meant was more like I don't want to ignore your human side. I've been aware from the start that my culture would be moving way too fast compared to how you were raised. I'll be here for months, years, ready to do this with you, and I want us both to feel prepared."