a forever type of love

therapy pt2

i entered the building and was immediately greeted by sarah and followed her into the same room as last week

i made myself comfortable on the sofa as she placed herself on her chair

"so alex, how has your week been?" she asked with a smile

"yeah it was alright" i replied

"are you sure? you look a little tense" she said, pointing at my very tense shoulders

"it's been a long week" i said

"where would you like to start?" she asked softly

"well erm" i sighed "the medics told me i can go on the pitch from now on"

"that's amazing! how do you feel about that?" she asked

"i'm so relieved but i'm so scared. what if i'm not able to play the same as before? what if i'm scared to go in for a tackle and that costs us the game? what if this injury is the reason i cant play to my standard again? what if this injury is the reason i get less game time?" i admitted, my voice full of anxiety and worry

"take a deep breath alex" she said softly

i did as i was told

"injuries are a setback, there's no doubt about that. but everyone at arsenal knows how hard you've worked to get to this point. you've made so much progress in little time and you should be proud of yourself for that. i will be honest with you, you wont play the same, you may never play the same. but that doesn't mean you won't be as good of a player as you were before. you don't lose talent just like that, especially with a talent like yours. you're going to be scared but it's a mental game alex, if you're strong mentally then the physicality side of things won't be too difficult because you will believe in yourself. you're not going to be playing 90 minutes each game especially with just coming back from time out, but it doesn't mean you can't prove yourself and make your way back into the starting line up" she assured me

i knew she was right and for some reason her words comforted me, but there was still a hint of doubt lingering inside of me

we went back and fourth, discussing my doubts and worries about my return

she reassured me the entire way through, proving her confidence in me

"you need to believe in yourself alex, that's the only way you're going to achieve your goals" she stated

"i know" i sighed

there were a few moments of silence with my eyes glancing around the room whilst hers fixated on me

"what else has happened this week?" she asked

i took a moment to decide how i was going to put into words about leah and jordan

"the other night i went out with leah and the girls to this pub and i got very drunk. i started talking to this girl i'd met on the field on the opposite team when i first joined. we spent most of the night together and then we went to the bathroom together because i felt sick from drinking too much. then leah came in and saw both of us in the cubicle and she knew the girl i was with. obviously i didn't question it at the time because i was so drunk" i paused and took a deep breath before continuing

"then when leah went to go get me some water from the bar, she was arguing with the same girl. like proper arguing, using her hands to support her argument and everything. the next morning we spoke about it and she told me it was her ex girlfriend" i explained

"did she mention she had an ex girlfriend prior to this interaction?" she asked, making notes in her notepad as i spoke

"no. especially not her. i mean when i first met her on the field i noticed leah staring at me and stuff but i didn't think anything of it. but i guess that's why she was looking at me that way" i said, a wave of relief filling my body

"do you think there's a reason why she didn't mention it?" she asked

"maybe she forgot, i don't know. or maybe she didn't want me to know" i sighed

"when she told you, how did you feel?" she asked

"angry, upset. mostly angry. i was disappointed she didn't trust me with that information but at the same time i sort of understood. we never really spoke about our ex's so i guess she assumed it wasn't necessary to tell me" i said

"you said you felt angry, did you lash out at all?" she asked

"no actually, i didn't" i said, a proud smile forming on my face "i suppressed it and it went away after a while"

"that is very good to hear alex, although suppressing it isn't a good option in the long term" she said

"i know but i didn't want to do anything with her around" i replied

the conversation flowed and bounced through the little mishaps that happened throughout the week

"is there anything else before we wrap up?" she asked

"just one last thing. i'm meeting leahs parents tonight and for some reason i'm really nervous" i confessed

"being nervous for that sort of thing is normal alex. just be yourself, no one can ask more of you if you do that" she assured me

"yeah i guess so. like do i take flowers or something?" i asked

"do whatever feels right alex, follow your heart" she said softly with a smile

"thank you sarah, i really needed this today" i said

"dont thank me, it's my job" she replied

we booked in for another session next week and said our goodbyes before i left the room and made my way out of the building

just like last week, leah was stood against the wall on her phone waiting for me

"hi baby" i said as i reached to where she was

"hey darling, everything okay?" she asked as she wrapped her arms around me

"all good" i said, placing my chin against her shoulder

"are you sure? your session lasted longer than last time" she said

"must have lost track of time" i giggled "are you alright"

"yeah i'm okay" she said as i placed my lips against hers

"come on, let's get home. after all, we do have dinner with your parents tonight" i said, trying to act confident as we walked to the car

"you're so cute when you're nervous" she laughed

"i'm not nervous i-" i said before i got cut off

"yeah yeah sure, tell me you're not nervous in an hours time when we're on our way there" she laughed even more

"you're such a dick" i said, nudging her elbow as i fastened my seatbelt

"whatever you say my love" she teased before placing her hand in my own as i pulled out of the car park

top 3 things to be most nervous about:
3. starting a new football team without knowing anyone
2. a final in a major competition
1. meeting your girlfriends parents for the first time

i'm screwed.

A/N
hey guys, i've been so ill recently so i haven't released anything. will be back to daily uploads starting from now (hopefully)
thank you so much for 50k reads, literally can't believe it
i hope you're enjoying it so far :)
leave any suggestions about things you want to see future chapters❤️

ps. through to the champions league quarter finals, absolutely buzzing🥳 (that game gave me heart palpitations)