a forever type of love

make or break

i sighed deeply before turning my head towards her

"i'm sorry i spoke to you like that" i said softly, guiltiness filling my voice

"i was trying to help you alex" she said bluntly, refusing to make eye contact with me

"i know baby and i'm sorry. i just wanted to be able to do something by myself" i admitted

"you have no idea how much i've been through this past week alex" she sighed

her words played in my head over and over, thinking of a response that wouldn't turn this into an argument

"i know baby. i'm sorry i put you through all of this" i said and placed my hands over hers before she pulled them away from my reach

"the amount of worry and anxiety that's consumed me is ridiculous. i couldn't function without you and i thought you were going to fucking die" she said, raising her voice slightly

anger ran through my veins as she spoke but i refused to act upon it

"but i'm here now baby" i said softly

the words i let out of my mouth were a huge contrast to how i felt inside

"that's not the point alex. you've put me through hell this past week. all i've done is be by your side and help you as much as i can and repay me by talking to me like i'm worth nothing" she yelled

her anger pierced through my heart like a knife. the thought of me hurting her by hurting myself made me feel sick

i did my best to remain calm

"i know you have baby and i couldn't thank you enough. you've helped me so much and i'm so grateful. i'm sorry i spoke to you like that. it's...it's just being in the hospital stripped me of my independence and i just wanted to be able to do something by myself for once" i admitted, masking the anger in my blood

she sighed deeply, still refusing to make eye contact

"you just don't understand what i've been through" she said in annoyance

the anger seeped through my veins and up to the surface

"are you fucking kidding me right now?" i said with my eyebrows raised "what you've fucking been through? imagine waking up from a coma not knowing where the fuck you are, to find out that you can't feel your leg and you may never fucking feel it again. imagine being told you cant do the one fucking thing that you love doing most in this world and the one thing that distracts you from all of your shitty problems" i shouted

"do you really not understand the fucking stress you put me through?" she shouted, slightly louder than me

we argued back and fourth but nothing was being resolved

"if you cant see where i'm coming from then i think it's best if you just leave" she shouted before realising the words that left her mouth

before i could process the venomous words from my girlfriend i snapped back

"fine, i'll leave"

i hopped up the stairs to pack a bag with a few essentials before returning back downstairs and putting my shoes on

when i was in the hospital, i asked leah to get me a new car so i would have one by the time i got out of hospital as my car was completely written off in the crash

i knew full well it wasn't legal for me to drive but in this moment and time, i couldn't care any less

i grabbed my car keys from the kitchen draw as leah paced up and down the living room