a forever type of love

Blackout

i was restless until the early hours of the morning

leah was fast asleep on my chest but my body wouldn't let me sleep

my mind was racing between the game later on today and being scared of having my nightmare again

i couldn't not sleep so i forced my eyes closed

as i started to doze off, the nightmare repeated the same as it does every night

i gave up sleeping and had a scroll through my phone

rachel had text me a few hours ago whilst we were in the cafeteria so i replied

Rach x
long time no see bestie,
how about lunch once
you're back from manchester?
also when am i meeting leah🤨

Alex❤️
miss you rach,
that sounds great🙂
soon soon don't worry
i'll plan something soon

i spent a few hours on tiktok until the sun started to rise

leah kept talking in her sleep which i thought was adorable

i spent the rest of the early morning staring at the ceiling and thinking

the thought of my dad was stuck in my head, hoping that he would be proud of the person that i had become. i have to admit that i wasn't the nicest of people once he passed and i shut everyone out

the past year has taught me so many lessons but mostly that i need people around me, leah especially

leah has been so good to me and i wouldn't do anything to jeopardise the relationship we have

i cant imagine myself being in this position mentally if i hadn't met leah

she's taught me how to love myself as well as what true love feels like

i would die for her, that's how much i love her

her love consumes me, not in a toxic way but in a way where my heart is intertwined with hers and i need her around me constantly

i cant wait to have children and grow old with her

i love her so much that my heart feels like it's going to explode

as the thoughts rushed through my head, leah tossed and turned in her sleep

i placed my hand on her cheek to comfort her and rubbed my thumb against her face

she settled down and snuggled closer into me

my body gave in and shut itself down for some rest

around an hour later, my eyes opened to see leah wide awake and sat up on the opposite side of the bed

"good morning baby" she said with a smile and kissed my lips

"morning le" i said groggily

i let out a massive yawn

"good sleep?" she asked

"hardly" i mumbled

"why didn't you wake me up beautiful" she asked with her eyebrow raised