Let Yourself Fall

twenty-six

Noelle

Damien has been really secretive the past couple of days, and it is driving me mad. "Okay, what are you hiding?" I confront him as we're cuddled up on the couch together.

He grins at me. "You really hate secrets, don't you?" He leans over to kiss the tip of my nose. "Okay then, come with me. I want to show you something."

As we reach the bedroom, he leads me to one of the three doors in there. One is a bathroom, the second is his walk-in closet, and the third? I've never thought about what could actually be in there.

"Open it," he urges. I take a deep breath and open the door. Stepping in, I immediately come to a stop. "Damien," I whisper. "What have you done?" He just leans on the doorframe and grins like a little boy. "What have you done?" I ask again. It's... It's a second walk-in closet. But not only the closet. No. It's freaking full of clothes. It... Fuck. It looks like a freaking boutique. "Oh my God." I sit down on the little couch in the middle of the room and look around. "What have you done? Why would you do this? Why?" "Do you like it?" I shake my head and sniffle. "It's too much. I can't." "You don't like it?" He sounds upset, but I don't dare to look at him.

"It's not that. But Damien, don't you remember anything I said to you when you got me that damn dress? You can't call... This... This... Monstrosity a small gift."

"Monstrosity? Jesus, Noelle – you do have a tendency to exaggerate."

"You know what I mean. It's so big. And the clothes. I can't believe you did this."

"Well then, I'll throw everything out again if that's what makes you happy." He sounds really pissed off now. I get it. I'm not easy, and I sound like a bitch. But can I really just accept this?

"God no. Damn it, wait." I pat the place next to me to indicate he should sit there, and when he does, I take his hand. "I'm sorry. Okay?"

"It's just not nice that whenever I do something for you, you practically slap me for it." I'm awful. That he even thinks that way. I'm such a bitch.

"I don't mean to be like this. I swear. It's just... You do so much for me, and sometimes I feel like I don't even deserve you. And then you surprise me with this... And it makes it even worse."

"How can you even think that? You're the best thing that has ever happened to me, and this..." He looks around. "This is not to make you stay with me. This is not to bribe you with things so you won't leave me. I want you to stay with me because you think I'm worth staying with and because you love me. I did this for you, just because. Yes, maybe to see a little smile on your face. But it's just money. It doesn't show that you deserve me less just because you're not rich. That's a ridiculous thing to think. Money doesn't make me better, just as it wouldn't make you better. It doesn't change who we are. If I act like a jerk and one day you want to leave me, you won't think – but hey, he bought me clothes. This has no relevance in our relationship. It doesn't make it better or worse or indicate what an amazing boyfriend I am. I hope I can prove this through other means."

He kisses me softly and gives me a lopsided grin. "Trying to make you believe that I am a good partner by buying you stuff would just prove the opposite. It would be the easy way out. But I want to do it the hard way. I want to show you that I'm worth it. That we're worth it. I want you to want to be with me even if I were to lose all my money. I want us to work through whatever challenges may arise in the future. So when I do something ridiculous like buying you clothes and you like them, don't try to make yourself feel bad. If it makes you happy, don't be afraid to smile and enjoy it. Don't overthink it."

I press my mouth against his to interrupt his beautiful little speech. "Damien," I whisper against his lips.

"Maybe we should start accepting that we truly deserve each other." He smiles against my mouth and holds my face between his hands. "I love you," he breathes against my lips. "I meant every word I said. There are no words good enough to describe how much I love you and how much I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Except maybe..." My heart begins to pound furiously in my chest as the words leave his mouth.