A prayer diary of someone going through a prayer crisis

Setember 11th, 2023 - Monday

Today, I read something interesting in the book. The subtitle is "Christian Business." Here, George talks about a brother who was tempted to engage in wrongdoing in his business. George then advises him to do five things:

Withdraw with his wife and pray to God about this matter twice a day;Pray believing that God will help him;Avoid dishonest practices in business, such as overcharging;Set aside a portion of the profit for the Lord; andInform George about how things are progressing.

George says that the brother's business prospered, and within a year, he was able to donate an additional 2.000 pounds.

With this, I was encouraged to also set aside a portion of my earnings for the Lord. I will do that. What I earn today may be little, but I hope to contribute much more.

Now, let's talk about the crisis in prayer that I should have written about days ago. Upon reflection, I don't think there was a definitive moment when I stopped believing in prayer. There wasn't something that made me stop believing from that moment on. Instead, it happened over time.

I began to notice that none of my prayers were answered. It made no difference what I asked for. As I write this today, I can't remember a prayer I made that was answered. I think it never really happened.

I'm in my mid-20s, and I've been a Christian since birth. My parents were already part of the church when I was born, and they encouraged me to attend as well. Throughout my life until recently, I attended a church where people were given opportunities to share – whenever they wanted – what God had done in their lives, whether it was a answered prayer or a deliverance God provided. So, I grew up hearing about prayers that God answered.

One particular opportunity I remember well was a couple where the woman couldn't have children. They tried for years to conceive, even resorting to artificial insemination, but it never worked. They prayed for years because they desperately wanted children. This case was significant because everyone in the church witnessed their anguish and sympathized with them. There was a time when she became pregnant, but she lost the baby, which was a devastating blow. What made it even sadder was that the woman grew older, and as she aged, it became more challenging and riskier for her to conceive. After some time, they stopped trying (I'm not sure about this part because I left that church, and they did too), but I know that after a while, she became pregnant again, and this time everything went well. The child is alive and healthy today, a tremendous answer to their prayers.

It's this type of prayer that I'm talking about here, not the everyday common ones. For example, I get sick and after a while I recover. Or I keep asking God for a job, and after much searching, I find one. Or I pray to pass a university exam, and after much studying, I succeed. I'm not talking about those types of prayers. I'm talking about prayers where the unmistakable hand of God is seen in action. It's these prayers that I've struggled with over time.