Another update for my fabulous readers.
I'd appreaciate votes and comments obviously
Im needy for attention
Much like Cali will be soon
Omg it's gonna be fun
Okay I have to stop spoiling---
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"Forget about her, malen'kiy dinamit, she left you. I stayed. I won't leave, I will help you. I promise"
But he did leave.
"We have to go through some good girl rules"
I broke those rules. I'm not a good girl.
"Be good while I'm away little girl, yes?"
I wasn't good. I tried really really hard to be, but I wasn't. I have failed. I couldn't stop another man from touching me, I couldn't stop him from ruining me. I wasn't good.
End even though it wasn't my fault that won't mean a single thing to him. He would be so, so mad if he found out what happened between me and Vasily. I know that he must never find out, I'm his property and shouldn't have gotten involved with any other man. Yet I did, it doesn't matter that it wasn't by my own choice.
Even if I manage to keep those terrible memories a secret and he, by some tiny chance, doesn't see right past my lies, I know that he will still be mad when he comes back. If he comes back.
"I'm afraid I have some bad news regarding my cousin" Vasily's words from yesterday crawl back into my mind "with some luck there'll be no one standing between you and me anymore"
His words scare the life out of me. What bad news was he talking about? Has something happened to Dimitri? Is he hurt? Or even worse - is he dead?
Grunting as panic tries to take over my being and my heart beat accelerates with my hands shaking, turning cold.
I push it away. For now I manage to put the thoughts away. Dimitri is fine and he will come back. That's the only possible scenario.
He will come back and Vasily will leave. He will not manage to accomplish his decided task. He will not rape me in any way. He will fail... although it seems like he did manage to ruin me... I hope I'm wrong, but sadly the signs are there. The wounds on my body faded, but those on my mind turned to scars and are, unfortunately, here to stay.
Even though scenario when Demetrios doesn't come back is the worst thing that could happen to me, I still worry so much what will happen if he will. He will be mad. I broke the rules, all of them. I left my room even though I should only do that when participating a meal and he will find out about that one.
I tried really hard to be a good girl, because I don't want to make him mad. He scares me so much when he's mad. He scares me all the time actually, my body is always on edge when he approaches, my voice always stutters when he towers over me or even when he only looks my way, I find myself trembling and flinching around him. My heart always beats so fast when his presence surrounds me, but when he's mad it's different and when he isn't it's different again.
The symptoms are always there, but the cause for them varies. I can't explain it, but it's true.
He kidnapped me, I know that, I haven't just forgotten about it, but what is there to do? This is my life now and it is the way it is - he owns me, I belong to him. In some strange way this fact doesn't bother me as much as it should anymore and I even find myself getting this strange feeling in my chest when I think about him. About his authoritative, masculine voice and his rough hands on my body and the way he controls everything and his word is always final and no one dares to talk back at him and about how much confidence he radiates and how nothing scares him. I don't know what the feeling is, I never felt this way before, but it isn't bad, in fact it is good.
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Darkness Is The Only Light: Mafia Romance (18+)
Romance**in which a criminal finds his interest in a young orphan and toxicity dances with possessiveness like waltz** "M-maybe if things were different." My voice broke, tears burning down my face as a cold metal of his gun was held against my forehead. "...
