Churchly Murders

𝓣𝓮𝓷

ʙᴇ ꜱᴛʀᴏɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏᴜʀᴀɢᴇᴏᴜꜱ. ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ꜰᴇᴀʀ ᴏʀ ʙᴇ ɪɴ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴅ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇᴍ, ꜰᴏʀ ɪᴛ ɪꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏʀᴅ ʏᴏᴜʀ ɢᴏᴅ ᴡʜᴏ ɢᴏᴇꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ʏᴏᴜ. ʜᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ɴᴏᴛ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴏʀ ꜰᴏʀꜱᴀᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜ.

ᴅᴇᴜᴛᴇʀᴏɴᴏᴍʏ 31:6

"Good morn- * yawns * -ing," Margo said, getting coffee as she went to class. Oliver gave her a look. She gave him another look.

They sat in class. Chester and Blake looked at Margo. Margo smiled at them. Blake was kind enough to smile back, whereas Chester just frowned and flipped her off.

She frowned.

"Hazel, he flipped me off," she said. "Fernandez, don't," Hazel told him. "Why can Margo call you by your name but we have to call you Sister Hazel?" Chester asked. "Weil sie meine zukünftige Schwiegertochter ist, nicht wahr, Oliver?" Hazel said. Oliver blushed.

Margo smirked. "Ich bin." she said. Oliver blushed even brighter.

Margo and Oliver went to Margo's room. Mavis and Tucker were leaning against the wall. "Hey," Margo said, picking them up.

Mavis pulled Margo's hair. "Ow!" she said. Oliver laughed. He picked up Tucker. "They are very cute," Margo said. Oliver nodded.

"We should go swimmin'," Margo suggested. They walked down to the pond.

As they walked, Margo thought. How is she gonna take care of children? Does Oliver like her?

Oliver looked at Margo. He thought she was so pretty. "Ow! Mavis!" she said. Mavis giggled. Margo put the babies in a safe place as they swam. "Oliver, we need to tell someone 'bout the babies," Margo said. "I know, I know. But Margo, I know haven't been able to tell you 'bout-"

Cue Mary Benett calling Margo.

She got out and answered the call. "Hello, Mom," Margo said, sighing. "Hello, Margo," Mary said. "You wanted to tell me 'bout your new lover?" Margo said. "Don't say it like that," Mary told her. "OK, just tell me 'bout him," Margo said. Mary sighed. "Well, his name is Aaron, he is not religious-"

"NOT RELIGIOUS? Mother, don't you dare become equally yoked with him! God wouldn't agree with that,"

"Don't tell me what to do, damnit!" Mary shouted. "Whatever. Tell me 'bout Aaron," Margo said. "Well, he is an ex-Christian. He's very nice, kind, etc," Mary told her. "Uh huh. How long've you been datin' 'im?" Margo asked.

"A few months,"

"A FEW MONTHS?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Dad died a week ago! Did you CHEAT?"

Mary hung up.

"What the actual fuck?" Margo said, going back to Oliver. "What?" Oliver said. "Mom has been cheatin' on Dad for a few months with an atheist!" Margo told him.

"Oh, my! Why?" Oliver asked. Margo shrugged.

Someone tapped on Margo's shoulder as she was holding Mavis. She turned around and panicked. "Oh! Blake!" she said. Blake looked at the babies.

"Are they.......you and Oliver's...........?"

"NO!" Margo and Oliver said, blushing. "Look, we found them, don't tell anyone!" Margo begged. "Why?" Blake asked, crossing his arms and tapping his foot. "I'll do anythin' for you!" Margo told him.

"Anythin'?"

Margo gulped but nodded.

"OK, I need help,' Blake said. "How?" Margo asked. "Well, I've gained a FAT crush on your friend Cathy Beam," he said. "Why Cathy?" she asked. "Because she seems nice and sweet," he told her. Margo and Oliver burst out laughing at that.

"OK, OK, you like Cathy, how can I help?" Margo asked. "How do I get her to like me back?" Blake asked. "Uno momento," Margo said.

Help:

1: be nice

2: be a gentleman

3: treat her like a queen

4: talk with her

5: shoot your shot(wait til later)

6: get her gifts

She handed him the paper with all this. "Thank you, Margo Benett," he said. "Of course. Remember, don't tell anyone 'bout Mavis and Tucker," Margo said. "Of course, mate. By the way, if you need a boyfriend-"

"No," Margo said, frowning.

"You said shoot my shot, so I did."

"You're learnin'!"