The Blood Puppeteer { BNHA Villains x fem!OC }

45 - Dark Silence

"Why is it so easy to kill our happiness? But so hard to kill our sadness?"

It's been four, maybe five days since Amora died and Eri was given to the heroes. I think at least... The days have just been a huge blur to me. They consist of sleeping, some crying, puking, and repeat. Shigaraki and Dabi stuck around the house. Either one or both of them would be around when I left my room to get water or a small snack. But that wasn't very often, food made me nauseous. I didn't feel hungry much at all anymore.

I couldn't begin to guess why the two stuck around. It wasn't like I was incapable of taking care of myself. Dabi practically suffocated me when he was around. Not that he means to, I think. When I'm having a panic attack he'll calm me down, but I refuse to talk to him otherwise. I can't tell if my silence is bothering him. I don't really care to know in all honesty. I just wanted to be alone.

As for Shigaraki... Shigaraki, Shigaraki. I can't figure that guy out. Not that I have the time to think about it anymore. The first couple days after Amoras death was filled with panic attacks every few hours or so. Maybe that's when Dabi became suffocating...

Shigaraki hovers around, I've noticed him feeding the cat, even sometimes leaving a bag of chips for me on the counter when I'd exit my room. He doesn't try talking to me like Dabi does. He just... watches. Glances at me when I leave my room, as if just noting that I was still around. A couple times I had a panic attack when Shigaraki was the only one in the house. Shigaraki in his own way distracted me from them. Whether it was throwing my phone at me with a video on it or offering up the cat as a sacrifice. He seemed uninterested in conversing with me.

By day three or maybe it was four... Either way by then the panic attacks have reduced. I just felt numb walking through the house. My thoughts were empty, it was like I had shut them off so that they wouldn't wander anymore. Everytime I passed through the hallway a shot of pain went through me as I passed Eri and Amoras bedroom doors. I made note not to leave my room as much because of this.

Occasionally I'd let Soot come into my room and sleep with me. Only when I felt like it. Sometimes it hurts to see him. Knowing Amora was the only reason he had gotten accustomed to this house in the first place...

The house overall was mostly quiet. My thoughts were muddied and I felt lost. Like a ghost endlessly wandering through the blank house. I don't know how to cope with Amoras death. I've kept my phone close to me, just waiting for a call from Vendetta hoping maybe Eri would want to talk to me. Her scared face was practically engraved in my head, its caused more panic attacks than her screams have at this point...

Overall I was tired and trapped with no clue on how to get out. Maybe, maybe deep down a part of me doesn't want to ever get out. Everythings calmer here.

-

I woke up in a cold sweat. Taking deep breaths I sat up from the bed. Another nightmare. They've been non-stop these past few days. Seems shutting off my thoughts didn't help, but I didn't entirely know how to turn them back on. I tried to recall what the nightmare was about, all I got was a blur of images. It didn't surprise, they all blur together nowadays. Not as clear as they used to be.

Groaning, I stood up. I was getting sick of the nightmares, sick of this house. Soot caught my eye as he sprawled out on the now empty bed. I glared at him, how lucky he was to be just a cat. To do whatever you want, to be oblivious of the death around you.

Picking up one of the hoodies strown out on the floor I threw it on, not caring whether it was clean or not. My throat was dry, how long had it been since I've last dranken anything again? Unable to recall, I headed towards the exit of my bedroom. My steps came to a halt as I passed by the mirror.