My Baby

Chapter Twenty-Nine

How are you supposed to think or continue with your life if the main reason you're still alive is missing? What happens when you spend every waking moment trying to protect the most important person?

I'm sure that Ralph will protect her but that doesn't ease my worries. She's never been away from me like this, especially not being taken. I'm sure she's scared and I can't do anything about it.

"I'm done." I say monotonously as I stare at my hands that rest in between my knees.

"Done? Done with what?" Roman asks and I don't look up to see the look on his face. Whether it's concern or confusion, I don't care.

"I'm done waiting. I'm done sitting here knowing my daughter could be hurt. I'm done putting her in dangerous situations." I tell him, finally glancing up at him.

His eyebrows are furrowed as his lips set in a straight line, a few worried wrinkles appear on his forehead.

"She isn't just yours." He mumbles, making my eyes narrow. "She became ours the moment you walked through those doors. You became mine. I've told you that you can't keep throwing that in my face just because I'm not her biological father. I am and always will be her dad." He continues, growing louder with every word.

"You don't get to have a say in her life. I gave you the opportunity. I gave you the privilege. I let you form the relationship with her. You have no idea what I've done for her. So yes, I'll throw it in your face whenever I fucking want too because I. Am. Her. Mother." I grit through my teeth.

I didn't even realize it but while I was talking, I managed to stand to my feet and round the ottoman, making Roman stand as well.

"Our baby-"

"She isn't your baby! She's mine!" I growl, shoving his chest with my hands, watching him stumble slightly.

I'm sure he's trying to keep his temper in check and I'm sure it's new for him. I've always kept my temper in check. I had too. God knows what would happen if I didn't but now, I can't seem to grasp onto any reason as to why I should.

"She isn't ours, she's mine! Did you go through the pain of trying to protect her before you even knew her, only to have her ripped from your body?" I shout with tears in my eyes.

I'm sure I look crazy, I feel crazy. I decide if there was a time to act crazy, now would be it.

"Did you watch your baby barely breathe in a box? Were you there when the nurse told me that I can't touch but I can look? Huh?" I push at his chest once more, not caring that I could be destroying everything in the matter of a couple minutes.

"Did you feel the pain in my chest when I saw a small baby- my small baby heart monitor flatlined?" My voice cracks as I step away from him.

"And you can call me crazy or lock me up but it'll never change the fact that she isn't yours." I spit my venom before I walk out of the room.

She is mine.
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"Jasmine."

I walk towards Tanner with my gun in hand and my body completely stiff.

"Do not go in there as a suicide. You come out as a warrior no matter what happens in there." He tells me sternly and all I can do is nod before getting into position.

I'm leading this time so when I feel a hand grab my shoulder, I immediately walk towards the safe house that Ralph and Ansley are supposedly at.

I kick down the front door before my gun jerks around with my movements so I can search the area before proceeding.

It's silent, too silent.

I expected shots fired the moment I kicked that door down or maybe, just maybe, my baby running towards me but I get neither. 

I swallow harshly as I wave my right hand down to the hall beside me then the front and to the hall to my left then finally the stairs diagonally to me, giving the silent order to separate.

My team follows me up the stairs, kicking in the doors we reach. I feel myself getting frustrated with every empty room I find myself in.

She has to be here, I promised to protect her and I need to do it. I thought I would be her soldier, her protector. I trying, she has to know that I'm trying my hardest.

I find myself back into the hall with the rest of my team, hearing the radio go off, telling me that there's no one here; no trace, absolutely nothing here.

I clench my jaw before nodding my head towards the stairs while walking to them. Maybe there's a hiding spot or something we missed. I'll run through this house millions of times until I know for myself that it is empty.

"I know this isn't what you wanted but we'll find them. They might be at a different safe house." Tanner tells me as if it would make me feel better.

I watch the house silently as everyone starts to pack back into the trucks.

Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.

I repeat in my head, hoping that something will appear and lead me to my baby. I need something to appear; give me something, anything.

I wait for a few more moments before Tanner places a hand on my bicep, squeezing to provide some type of comfort.

"Come on, Jasmine." He mumbles softly, making me sigh and follow him slowly.

What would have happened if I never went to the fight? Would we still have gotten into this mess? Would she be safe with me?

Questions upon questions sprint through my head, going miles a minute without giving me a single moment to think clearly. I wish I could take back so much but never her; never my baby.

"Mami!"

I turn so quickly, I don't give myself enough time to process, all I see is my baby with Ralph standing behind her.

I don't waste another second before sprinting to her, seeing my baby safe is all that matters to me at this moment, having her in my arms.

"Jasmine, stop!"

Too late. Time is infinite but is it really?

Time stops when you die, does it not? Yes, time goes on for others but what about you? Time is up then you're gone.

One second, you're so close to everything that creates your existence. Another second, you're in the air. One more second and you're dead.