𝗕𝗨𝗖𝗞𝗬 𝗕𝗔𝗥𝗡𝗘𝗦 𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗧𝗦

I'm here

SONG REQUEST FOR THIS CHAPTER: ROSLYN by BON IVER, ST. VINCENT

1,184 Words

TW: Nightmares, PTSD, Torture, and angst.

(This entire concept is requested and inspired by a comment by cbarnes2008 )

My ears ring as the gun goes off beside my head, the loud bang making my body jolt with fear. The guard has a wicked smirk on his face, happy that he got a reaction out of me. Even though I technically didn't do anything wrong, I'm still getting punished. All I did 'wrong' was stumble over my feet in training, and almost fall over. When the guard spotted it, he shouted for all the other girls to sparse, and make a walkway for him to stalk towards me. He pulled the gun out of his holster and pointed it at my face. Right there and then, I prepared for death and awaited the painless leave, but when it didn't come, I almost cried. Now I know my punishment will be even worse than death.

He grabs my arm, pulling me towards the main door, dragging my feet with how fast his strides are. All the other girls are keeping quiet, but the look on their faces tells me that they have experienced this punishment, and that it isn't going to be easy. I take a deep breathe, picking up my feet and following behind the guard. If it seems that I am following their orders, then they might go easy on me. I've never actually been punished yet, and I have no idea what I'm getting myself into.

At the end of the hallway, sits a large metal door, ominously waiting to be dragged open and my body shoved through. When I am, there is a group of guards standing in a circle, around a metal chair. On the arms and legs of the chair are restraints, ready for a lifeless body to be placed inside. My lifeless body.

"Get your ass in that chair!" The guard shouts.

I don't bother fighting back, and instead, do as I am told. I'm not stupid, I know that an unprepared, untrained, 16-year-old girl will not overtake a large group of skilled and weapon-ready guards. Sitting in the chair, a few guards begin strapping my body in further, locking the metal restraints tightly against my skin. I can feel my skin slowly beginning to break, but bite back the tears that are forming in the corners of my eyes.

"Begin." The same guard instructs the others.

A few buttons are pushed and a metal rod, with two small metal pieces at the end, comes out of a case, a guard holding in, impatiently. Someone behind me has their hands on a rope, attached to the ceiling. My head whips around the room, accessing the situation. Even though I can see all of their moves, I don't know what is about to happen.

But, before I can even begin to think of options, the man behind me pulls the rope, and a gush of ice cold water is poured over my head. I gasp at the feeling, my back hunching and my chin almost touching my knees. My body twitches and a small noise of pain seeps through my tightly pressed lips. Without a second to breathe, another guard walks over to me, pressing the metal rode against my skin. He presses the button, and a bolt of electricity courses through my body. I scream at the feeling, and those repressed tears come pouring down my cheeks.

"Stop! Please!" I beg.

My body thrashes against the restraints, trying to break free, but to no avail. But, the metal doesn't feel as strong against my wrists and ankles anymore, instead, but fists are scrunching something soft. Like bedsheets. My eyes open, but I still see concrete room, filled with the guards. It feels like my body isn't present in the room, but I can still see everything in front of me. I can still feel everything around me.

"Y/N!" A voice calls out to me.

"No, please. Stop!" I shout, still feeling the electricity running through my veins.

"Y/N, look at me." The voice pleas. "I need you to get out of your head."

I turn my head to the voice, still not seeing anyone stood beside me. But, now, I feel arm wrapped around my body, my back pressed against something hard. There are legs around my waist and falling beside my body. I close my eyes, shaking my head, and trying to fall out of my own mind. When I finally open my eyes again, I see a cream coloured carpet, and black sweatpants displayed out in front of me. There are bear feet at the ends of the sweatpants and my eyes travel up the legs, seeing Bucky sat behind me, holding my tightly against his body.

"Bucky?"

"I'm here, doll." He frowns. "You're safe."

I turn my head to look at him, but my cheeks go bright red when I see majority of the Avengers stood behind him. They are all gathered by my door, looking down at me, their eyes filled with terror and concern. A few of them let out a deep breath of relief when they see me awake and not screaming anymore. They all watch as Bucky strokes my arm, whispering in my ear that I'm back in the compound, and safe again.

Safe

When they see that I am in good hands, they all slowly start walking towards my door, leaving my room. The last person to leave is Steve, and he takes a double look before closing my door behind him. When the room is empty, Bucky pulls out of his hold on my body, crawling to sit in front of me. He smiles at me, whipping the last few stray tears off my cheeks. He holds my face in his hands, kissing the crown of my head. He waits until I calm down long enough for him to pick me up and place me on the end of my bed. It takes him a few seconds to pick out some new clothes from my closet, him knowing it inside and out having down this so many times, and places them on the end of the bed. He turns around, letting me change out of my sweaty pajamas, and into the clean, new clothes. I stand up when I am done, pulling his back against my body and hugging him. He turns in the hug, and holds me tightly. I let go of the hug, pull the comforter back, and slip back into bed. I leave the comforter open, letting Bucky get in beside me. He lies on his back, letting me rest my head against his chest, and hold his body with a grip. It doesn't take long before I get comfortable enough to slip back into sleep, praying that I don't have anymore memories come back to mind.

Bucky will always be that friend that helps me through my nightmares.

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I know I said that I wasn't going to post on this story until I was done on Alexithymia³ - Endgame, but this chapter was requested by a reader and I had some spare time on my hands. I am almost half way through Alexithymia, and will begin posting here when I am done.