Magic Of Blood And Sea (Trafalgar Law X OC)

chapter 46

2 weeks later...

TRAFALGAR LAW POV

The chaos has died down, but it sent Feyre further into herself, and she's been confined to her bedroom and cocooned under her black silk sheets as if she's allergic to the outside air. For the first few days after that damned night, she would hardly speak at all.

She often flipped between complete desolation, where she stared blankly and gave no reaction, to crying and inconsolable. Ikkaku would often be around talking to her to help draw her out, and it has helped.

Seeing her like this breaks my fucking heart, and all I want is to hand her the pieces and give her something to hold on to.

But she won't hold on to anything. Won't even let me come near. If I get within a foot of her, she flips out.

She absolutely refuses to let me touch her, and it's fucking killing me because that's all I want to do.

"Alive," I answer, though I'm not entirely sure that's the truth. She's breathing, but she's not living. "And slowly getting better. She's talking now and will smile and laugh sometimes. She'll be up, down, and sideways for a long time."

I glance down at the deep gouges in my hands, still bright red from last night.

Every night, she thrashes in the bed, screams tearing from her throat and body flailing. I've learned to be careful when I wake her. Some nights she goes into full attack mode. Sightless as she scratches at me, convinced I'm one of the demons haunting her nightmares.

During the day, she's back to being a ghost..

And to be frank, I'm growing frustrated. Not because she's lost in her trauma, but because I have no fucking idea how to bring her out of it.

Helplessness is a feeling I've become intimate with. I'll be damned if I can't save the girl I love from herself.

"She's going to get through it, Captain," Penguin assures, seeming to note the distress darkening the underside of my eyes.

"I know she will. She's the strongest woman I know," I agree, staring off into the ocean floor painted on our galley's wall.

That night when I woke up, something was off. Like there was this hollowness in my chest I couldn't point the source of. My first thought was to walk around the submarine.

I roamed every level and checked in on the crew in their quarters, then I stood for a solid minute in front of the girl's room, scared of what I might find.

As soon as I knocked and walked in, fright had me by the throat.

Feyre was gone, and not even ikkaku knew where she was.

I woke everyone up from how loudly I was shouting with ikkaku.

I'll admit I gave her a hard time.

For a minute, I thought Feyre ran away. I thought she left because of me.

Somehow I convinced my brain she didn't want me the same way I craved her and just disappeared in the middle of the night because she knew I'd never let her go.

I figured she didn't want to face me with that fact and decided she'd spare me the pain of getting rejected for the third time and crush all my hopes, by just leaving.

As if I'd let her go that easily.

I thought Ikkaku was covering up for her. But when I saw just how alarmed she was to not find Feyre in bed, the real fear began to settle in. the fear that my assumption was right and she did run away because she didn't want a commitment with me.