Breaking Apathy

Chapter 3.1: Self Study Commotion

The first day of the forced leave from school left me awake at six in the morning in the kitchen as usual. I always woke earlier than the others to make breakfast. But the only difference was that I wore my pj bottoms with no shirt instead of my uniform. There was nothing planned for the day and I had absolutely no clue about what could possibly be done about that. Flipping the eggs over in the pan and pressing on the egg with a spatula, Kayla decided to be the first to appear. She walked to me and tugged at my pants to get my attention. The band wasn't tight enough so I felt the band of my pants slip off my hips a little. My hand reacted fast enough and grabbed the band, my head turned to her. Half awake, Kayla smiled at me and scratched her cheek. I abandoned my eggs for a moment to kneel down and fix the collar of her uniform. The rest of my family trickled in, dad always being the last.

“Well that's a difference,” my dad commented before taking a seat at the table. “Eden isn't in uniform today.”

“But I didn't expect him to come out like that,” Layla commented, plopping her bouncy self at the table too.

I stood and continued frying the eggs before I spoke.

“Sorry. I didn't expect any of you to actually wake on time.”

Kayla dragged her feet to the table and sat on her chair, a yawn escaping her lips, “Layla kept kicking last night. I tried to wrestle her awake but she won.”

My dad laughed with Layla. I gave a small chuckle to the matter and began plating breakfast for the others. Kayla pouted and shrugged it off before she began bugging dad for her own bed. The conversations in the mornings were so lively. It was the small peace I had before running about the day. I sat at the table too, but there was no plate in front of me. I just held a water bottle and listened to the discussions, my stomach void of hunger. A nudge under the table turned my attention to dad. His smile looked slightly faded from its usual genuine joy. The girls kept on talking and dad found this the opportune time to talk to me.

“Hey... You're losing more weight. Why aren't you eating breakfast?” he asked softly, careful enough to slip unnoticed by the girls.

I took a moment to look down. It was true. I hadn't noticed that I'd lost more weight. The ball joints in my shoulders were jutting out a little. The flesh underneath my skin wasn't thick enough to hide my rib cage too. Hesitantly, I looked at my dad. My hand rubbed up the opposite arm as I put forth a smile. I'd forgotten to eat a couple of times, even if I always do the cooking. Hunger pangs never occurred.

“Nah,” I started in a whisper. “I'll pick it up dad.”

“Well... you could start with breakfast,” he suggested, handing over his plate after he ate a little. “It's a shame for such a great cook to not eat his own food.”

He stood and rounded up the girls to go. Each of the girls gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before they sprinted out the door to the car. I stood and waved to them as they disappeared out the kitchen. My hand limply dropped to my side. Dad noticed it again. I could never get how a simple look could reveal so much. But he never sat down and talked to me about it. It was like he was scared or something, though that is impossible because it’s not affecting him.

Clearing out the table without eating, I mindlessly did the dishes. A whole day without school.  I had no idea what to do. Studying is in order of course but after two hours of it, I’d have practically finished my reading for the day. I sighed while wiping my hands with the dish towel.

“I’ll figure it out later,” I said to myself, pushing away the bother thinking brought.

I hung the dish towel neatly on the oven handle and made my way up stairs. My room was in a mess, which was too untamed for my liking but I guess it could occupy all the time I seemed to have. Trading in my pj bottoms for some normal clothes, I opted for an oversized black t-shirt with a sleeveless ‘Guns-n-Roses’ hoodies, black jeans and nothing more. I don’t take much time to dress as most of my clothing suits the many moods that I do have.