ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴏꜰ ɢᴏᴅ ᴘʟᴀʏ ɴɪᴄᴇ || ʙꜱᴅ

• 15 •

TRIGGER WARNING: EATING DISORDER

for the love of god play nice

Tachihara: i think everyone had a crush on chuuya at some point in the port mafia

Tanizaki: AYOO

Tachihara: am i wrong????

Akutagawa: You are not wrong

Gin: I'm a lesbian but I agree

Higuchi: If I wasn't so obsessed with the Akutagawa siblings I would be head over heels with that man

Fyodor: even i can get behind the chuuya simp train

Chuuya: what the fuck

Kunikida: A bit like how Dazai has everyone in the ADA wrapped around his finger

Ranpo: can confirm, dazai is sexc

Atsushi: he IS fine

Yosano: a womaniser if you will

Kyouka: Dazai is very handsome.

Sigma: When he danced with me <3

Jouno: never seen him, but can confirm he's hot

Haruno: I had a crush on him when I joined

Naomi: So did I

Dazai: GUYS WHY AM I JUST HEARING ABOUT THIS

Atsushi: the soukoku effect

Dazai: we're just the hottest couple

Naomi: The finest husbands

Chuuya: i'm confused on how people even find me that attractive

Akutagawa: What do you mean Chuuya?

Chuuya: i'm not the nicest person guys AND i'm... heavy

Dazai: WHO TOLD YOU THAT

Chuuya: I DID BECAUSE I'M SMALL AND TUBBY

Tanizaki: nah what

Ranpo: bro can manipulate gravity and thinks he's heavy

Gin: Who let the angst in

Fukuzawa: Do you need to speak to someone Chuuya?

Chuuya: NO I'M FINE

Dazai: YOU'RE PERFECT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE AND IF ANYONE HAS A PROBLEM WITH THAT I WILL PERSONALLY CURB STOMP THEM AND THEN SHOOT THEM MAFIA STYLE

Nikolai: THAT'S SO ROMANTIC

Mori: I think we should leave this alone.

Akutagawa: Best idea you've had all your life

Private Messages: Dazai > Chuuya

Dazai: baby are you okay?

Chuuya: yeah i'm fine. just a little confused on why people find me so attractive

Dazai: you're literally so hot bro

Chuuya: you saying bro is not helping

Dazai: you said you were heavy and tubby? you're literally a healthy weight

Chuuya: the truth is, i've always struggled with my body image and insecurities and i was diagnosed with anorexia after you left the mafia. i thought i was unlovable and i started skipping meals and then i started fainting on missions.. all in the hopes that when you came back i would look good enough for you to never leave me again.

Dazai: why did you never tell me?

Chuuya: i thought it would make you leave me again. i'm so scared of you throwing me away again osamu. it's been a long 4 years and i was so ill that kouyou started arguing with mori about whether or not i should be hospitalised. i got better with time and support from my subordinates but i guess mentally i haven't fully recovered. i actually considered ending it all multiple times, how no one would truly care now that you were gone. i was just seen as a weapon by mori and without you i was just dangerous. what was the point in my living? i didn't feel human. i may not be obsessed with suicide, but that doesn't mean i haven't tried it.

Dazai: i'm so sorry for leaving you but do you know my reasonings?

Chuuya: yeah yeah, dead best friend, affected you so much that you'd leave your husband

Dazai: .

Chuuya: forget it dazai, pretend i never told you anything

Dazai: i wish you could see yourself through my eyes chuuya, you're so pretty and funny and your laughter is so attractive and yeah your sense of style is wacky but that's just because i'm boring with my fashion

Dazai: i love you for you. i would never want you to be sick and if i had come back to a literal skeleton on death's door, i don't think i'd be able to live with myself

Dazai: you are my reason for living and if you can't see that, if you had actually succeeded, i wouldn't be here today. i love you so much that i question my sanity. i may not be as insane and murderous like fyodor and nikolai but it IS insane to think of a world without you.

Chuuya: way to be sappy

Dazai: don't turn the subject around chuuya

Chuuya: just. don't treat me differently

Dazai: don't worry, i'll still bully you my little munchkin

Chuuya: is that a fat joke

Dazai: WHAT NO I WOULD NEVER

Chuuya: I'M KIDDING OH MY GOD

Dazai: i take back everything i ever said. you are the reason for my suicidal tendencies and you will be in my suicide note.

for the love of god play nice

Nikolai: i thought this was a happy fanfiction. why is there ANGST

Fyodor: the author is stressed and needed to project on her favourite character

Nikolai: that's so messed up bro

Fukuchi: What... are they talking about?

Teruko: fuck knows

Tecchou: i've had enough of those two

Nikolai: you love us!

Jouno: no we don't

Nikolai: WHAT HURTS THE MOST IS PEOPLE CAN GO FROM PEOPLE WE KNOW TO PEOPLE WE DON'T

Jouno: nope.