Chapter 37

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"It was critical to me that the car be built quickly. I did not neglect my duties, I just dedicated all my extra time and resources to this project." He explains. "She was out of line. The rules of a challenge are clear. You are not An'eo and cannot be held to that."

"Obviously, I know I can't fight her. I'm grateful that you stepped in a shut it down but..." I'm struggling to articulate my feelings. "Is it going to be a problem? Will people see it as favoritism or unfair? If someone had challenged Santi or Clarisse would you have done the same?"

He tilts his head and wets his lower lip, thinking for a moment.

"Yes," he eventually nods earnestly. "The laws of a challenge do not apply to humans. It could not be a fair fight." I can feel his nervousness answering this.

"Ronan, you're bigger and stronger. I know that is factual. Our differences can be acknowledged without creating a situation where one is less than the other." I sigh, leaning my forehead against his. "I can feel that you're hesitating to answer. I know we're different."

I don't want there to be barriers between us. I value open, honest communication and respect. I don't want either of us to feel uncertain of our footing with one another.

"How much of what she said did you understand?"

"Not all of it. I got the gist though."

"I have made sure that everyone is aware that humans are not to be challenged. Any issues will be brought to my attention directly."

"I've missed you," I find myself staring at his lips. I've missed them too. We kissed this morning but it wasn't enough.

Instead of kissing me, he leans back, creating more distance between our mouths not less.

"Nicole," his tone is so serious that it concerns me. "Are you happy with your life?"

"What do you mean?" I am completely unprepared to answer that.

"Would you change it?"

"Would I change my life?" I huff out a nervous laugh. "That's a loaded question. Do I wish I could just snap my fingers and bring everyone back? Sure, of course. But I think that, for whatever reason, we were supposed to meet. Call it fate or Sa'nu. I can't ignore the fact that we have come together under some pretty incredible circumstances."

I feel self-conscious under his gaze. The weight of his stare is more than I'm used to. He's always intense but right now, this is different. His face is completely serious, a deep scowling crease in his brows.

"I wouldn't change things for me, for us." I try to elaborate. Mom always said 'the past can't be changed. Regrets and what ifs waste the present.' I can't focus on impossibilities I wish were true. The reality is, there are three humans left and I found an extraterrestrial soulmate. I'm choosing to put my efforts and attention there.

He studies my face with that same seriousness, searching for anything I'm trying to hide beneath the surface.

"All of the choices I made in my life brought me right here to you. There were things that were completely out of my control but there were more decisions that I made. I don't regret my decisions. I'm happy with my life and I'm happy to be here, right now, with you."

He lets out a slow breath and the intensity of his expression softens. It still feels like I'm being studied, like he's observing me. Tilting my head down to stare at my lap, the quiet music starts playing a song that I actually know.

"Can I ask you a question?"

He nods, cupping my chin.

"The research you did, reading our history, why did you do it?"

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