Chapter 17

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Clarisse is still asleep when I burst into her room. I'm so wound up that I don't even celebrate the fact that I actually found her room on my own.

She sits up, groggy and startled as the lights grow brighter.

"What's wrong? What happened?" She pulls herself out of bed frantically.

"Oh, God, Clarisse... I'm... "

She grabs my shoulders, studying my face, "are you hurt...sick? Is Santi alright?"

"No, nothing like that. Physically, I'm fine... Santi too..." I realize suddenly that coming here was a bad idea. What am I going to tell her? I want to fuck the commander and hey surprise, he wants to fuck me too!

My cheeks burn as I replay the way he inhaled. He could smell me? That's...humiliating.

Relief washes over her face as she plops down on her bed. An awkward silence hangs in the air. I don't know what to say. I burst in here, waking her, and now I'm not sure how to explain what happened.

I'm afraid she'll judge me if I tell her the truth.

"Does this have anything to do with a ridiculously tall, silver-haired alien commander who stares at you with sex eyes every chance he gets?" She smirks as my mouth falls open.

"Sex eyes?" Of course, that's the only thing I truly heard.

"Yes, he gives you major fuck-me-eyes." She wiggles her eyebrows suggestively.

"I don't think that's true." I don't want to give too much away. I came here in an emotional frenzy but I don't want to spread this around. He might not want everyone to know that he desires a 'small and weak' human.

"Listen," she pats the bed. "I'm not going to tell you what to do but if, hypothetically, a muscular alien with the face of an angel wanted to fuck me...there would be no holding me back."

"Really?" I crawl into bed beside her. "You don't think it's... I don't know...wrong?"

"What's wrong with it? If, again, this is hypothetical, a fully grown, consenting alien wanted to rock my world, what would be the problem? This is all assuming that we're compatible with them...physically." She looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to give away what I know.

I just shrug. If I tell her that I've seen his penis, she won't let it go without hearing all of the details. At least I know she won't judge me...

Rolling over and wiggling underneath her blanket, I close my eyes. No matter how hard I try, I can't stop thinking. Next time I see him, I'm going to have to force my mind to control my body. I can't let him know...or smell, that I want him.

I haven't had sex in hundreds of years, he's liable to kill me! I need to remember that, it should help keep any wanton thoughts at bay.

"So, you're really not going to tell me?" She huffs after a few minutes of silence.

"There's nothing to tell." I lie through my teeth.

"Sure, that's why you burst in here with terror in your eyes," she chuckles.

Groaning, I roll over to hide my face. What she thought was terror was actually salacious lust.

I spend the rest of the day keeping myself busy. It might look like I'm avoiding him but that is not the case. I just have so much to do. Currently, I'm flipping through the pages of a Korean language children's textbook from I don't know when.

I could be an adult and go talk to him. As always, I have so many questions but I'm afraid of the answers. Things were simpler when he didn't know about my attraction to him. He has the upper hand here.

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