𝙏𝙄𝙍𝙀𝘿 𝙊𝙁 𝙈𝙀 / 𝗜𝗧★𝗖𝙃𝙄 𝗨𝗖𝗛𝗜𝙃𝘼 [SEMI-HIATUS/ ON HOLD]

iii.

TW: CHILD ABUSE, NEGLECTION, MENTION OF ALCOHOL, ALCOHOLISM.

NAME

WAKING UP, I feel weird. It's dark and this is definitely not the shinobi world. Realizing that I'm in some sort of realm, I stand up, head hurting as a migraine eats me. The sound of water is what I heard as I try to stabilize my movement.

More sounds of water can be heard and there, a white glowing thing lit up and directed forward to a bigger scene. The lights flashed brightly almost while I cover my eyes.

There a scene is played. A scene I would've loved so much, a scene I would've cherished in my heart but I'm quite delusional to think it would ever happen.

It's the scene of me and my parents happy. A "what if" in my life. I've got nothing from them, they're the enemies yet I'm the one receiving their punishment.

Oh, how I wish this was true. We look so happy as I giggle accompanied with my mother hugging my body as I'm saying goodbye to her, ready to let go and enter the academy. The scene flashed again and turned differently as it shows my father putting whipped cream on my nose, flour all over us as we continue to bake a cake for my mother's birthday.

Another scene flashed as we are all having supper together, laughing and love radiating in the evening air and this imagination of mine brings nothing but ache in my heart.

This should've been comforting, the tucking me in and reading bed time stories felt special for once as I stand and watch whatever scene is playing. In this hollow heart of mine, with nothing but yearning and desperation for love...I feel sick as I am met with the reality that this never happened to me as a child.

And finally, happiness came like the wind, fresh but fast as another scene plays. A memory of mine, a horrific one. It was when I was 7, out of every memory why this?

"You useless child! Go clean that!" I hear my mother  as she kicked my stomach to a pile of vomit. Father had been drinking again and it seems he's gone overboard.

I was hungry and starving but I did not dare to speak as my mom kept hitting my back as I was wiping the floor. My father was slurring in the background, I don't understand anything he says as my mother tends to him but I was met with glass cracking behind my back, making me thud forward as the pain eats me.

My parents are just watching there as I cry in pain, shards around me and my back as my mother pulls my hair. "Ha! You're crying now!? That doesn't even hurt! What a weakling you are!" Her loud, audible, voice can be heard as my father grabs my hair and dragged me out the front door.

"If you're going to keep on crying and sobbing, then just sleep outside! You're so ungrateful!" The man that was supposed to be my so called father threw me outside the mud as the shards bury deeper inside my skin.

I screamed and begged, and even asked for forgiveness even if I didn't do anything wrong. It always went like that, the memory still raw as I touch the scars on my younger self on the memory that is being played.

I shiver as I remember the called air of the night as rain kept pouring down on my skin. The pain of the shards still not residing as I collapse on the cold ground under me.

I feel empty as it goes black, the dark scenery returning back to it's gloomy color as my lungs suck for air. I didn't even know I was crying. I just fell forward and my face was already wet with tears.

"Why, why, why! I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG! I HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG!" I shouted as I start hitting my chest, tears streaming down my (e/c) eyes, my throat, sore as I shout and gasp for air.