Misunderstood bxb (completed)

Chapter 12

Chris's POV
Tired
So tired.
Is it bad that I had just woke up and I was erupted with a painful dread of exhaustion. I stared at the ceiling, it was Sunday and tomorrow was the day I go back to hell. Or in other words school. I hadn't talked to Drew at all since I left his house and moved back into my house. I missed my parents. I missed my old life. I missed feeling even remotely okay. I missed feeling anything at all. I was now numb... and tired so so tired. I closed my eyes trying to retreat into sleep, so I didn't have to face reality. "Worthless!" The shouts if my aunt flew to my ear from downstairs, I opened my eyes slowly and stood up silently. I walked downstairs and into my aunts room, the room that used to belong to my parents. She was laying in her bed, a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. I sighed sadly, my father used to talk so highly of her, and now she was just scum that walked the earth. "Hey moron... make me breakfast?" She stated it as a question but I knew that if I denied her request, I would immediately regret it. I nodded limply and shuffled into the kitchen, pulling out a pan and some eggs, I began to cook.
Time skip :D
I pulled out two plates and filled them with eggs and toast with strawberry jam. I smiled warmly... cooking was one of the only things that I enjoyed besides music. My aunt Aimee was nestled in covers while sitting at the dining table, surprising enough considering she usually stays in bed all day. I placed the plate in front of her, and sat next to her my own plate in hand. She began to eat before looking to me then at my plate. "Are you really going to eat... aren't you already fat enough." she stated taking another heft bite out of her eggs. I frowned, moving the food around with my fork, I had been called many things and I wouldn't argue with any of them but fat was never something that came up. I stood up without a word and emptied the contents of my almost full plate, I managed to get to the bathroom. I took off my shirt in one movement and dropped it onto the ground in a heap. I stared into the mirror and shrunk back at the revelation of my aunt being right. I was a hideous mess, fat and ugly. The dreaded feeling of needing to cry bubbled inside me but no tears showed up. Maybe I was out of tears to cry, maybe I was in so much pain that the need to cry wasn't enough to cause the tears to come. I frowned deeply, picking up my shirt and throwing it on swiftly. I nudged open the door and walked into the hall, I walked to the front door and left into the bitter morning air. I shivered slightly at the chill, crisp cold. I wrapped my arms around me in an attempt to warm myself up. I took off in the direction of my special place, hoping beyond a doubt that it would heal the hurt.
10 minutes later:
I sat down at the bank of the lake, looking out across it and feeling nothing. My place wasn't helping, I was still in so much pain and now the one thing that had never failed to make me smile wasn't working. As a last resort I did the one thing, I never thought I would do. I prayed.
"God I've never done this before. I know I give you no reason to do me anything but p-please... I'm begging you." Tears sprung in my eyes and filled until there was no more room and the spilled down my cheek in an attempt to escape. I continued to pray through the tears and the sobs. "God please bring them back. Let me have them back p-please. Please. PLEASE GOD DAMN IT ANSWER ME!" I shouted into the sky, knowing that there was no answer to be found through my questions. "God what did I ever do to you? Why would you do this to me? You fucking left me with no one. YOU. YOU FUCKING GAVE ME NO HELP WHEN I ASKED...THEN YOU TAKE AWAY MY ONE SOURCE OF HAPPINESS!" I was standing up, screaming like a madman at the sky, tears streaming freely down my pale and blotchy cheeks. I collapsed to my knees in tears, Why was the one word the I repeated.
"Why?"
"Why?"
"Why?
"C-Chris?" I didn't glance back, hearing Drew's voice echo from behind me. I remained in my vulnerable position, sitting on my knees my head buried in my hands. I felt cold hands on my back and I tensed, but relaxed almost just as quick. He was kneeled beside me, rubbing my back in a soothing manner. Sobs wracked my body, and I screamed from the pain that has been building up even long before my parents died. "Chris it's okay, I'm here." I couldn't help it, I hugged him clutching him to me, tears soaking his grey shirt. I grabbed at the fabric of his shirt. After a while I managed to calm down and my breathing became steady once again. I was still in Drew's arms, now I pulled apart and he looked into my eyes concern written in his own. "Chris?" I looked away, I was so ashamed for crying in front of him that I just wanted to turn and run and thats exactly what I was gonna do. I stood swiftly and attempted to retreat, but a hand on my arm had me falling to the earth again in pain. Drew managed to grab my arm in the exact place that I had cut the word dead in. His eyes widened and he quickly came to my side in concern. "Chris what's wrong?" He asked quickly looking me up and down in an attempt to find the source of my pain. I tried to stand again, but he didn't let me, instead grabbing my arm and rolling up the black sleeve and coming face to face with 'dead' carved into my arm.