19| Mission

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Bryan's POV:

I stand in the treeline with James, Nick, and surprisingly, Luke, who I assumed would be with Mandy. I mindlinked them after she stormed off. I told them she was no longer in the dark about what happened to her dad, but well, there was more to the story.

Unfortunately, the next chapters would have to wait to be revealed and the sad reality is they may never be read.

Before running into the house, Sam gives me a look of understanding as well as concern. I could see the tears forming in her eyes. I hate I put her in this situation, like a referee trying to squash a squabble on the field. I felt her anguish. I know she is loyal to me, to this pack, but especially to Mandy. She would be there for her best friend through it all. She would provide her with some comfort even though it should be me. Max wants to run to his mate, but he keeps reminding us to be patient. It's like he knows something I don't.

I don't know how long we've been standing here. I haven't moved a muscle except for the clenches of my jaw muscles and the tightening of my fists. I'm trying my best to remain calm and in control, but on the inside a tidal wave of fire is exploding. I feel as though a part of me has died, yet forced to endure an endless torture. Eventually, I hear the front door open and I stare at the scene.

I watch as Mandy and Sam come out of the house. My heart is ripped to shreds by the pain I've caused her. I stand rigid and silent watching her throw her hair up into a ponytail before she climbs into her Jeep and drives away. I see her give a slight wave goodbye to Sam.

I feel James' hand on my shoulder, trying to console me. I'm not the one who needs consoling, she is. I'm the jerk who broke her heart and left her fatherless. I continue to watch her Jeep until it is no longer visible. What are we going to do now? How can we ever live without her? Can I be this patient? Can I win her back once she's finished with college? Can I fix what I broke? I feel my anger and sadness ready to burst out of my eyes as Sam walks cautiously toward me.

"Bryan?" Sam rips me from my thoughts. I look at her tear-stained face and bloodshot eyes. She steps forward and wraps me in a bear hug. Sam has always been like a sister to me. She has always supported me, even after what happened. They all did. Each one of my friends standing by me now knew what happened, knew the guilt I carried, the guilt I still carry. When I found out Amanda was my mate, they knew this day would eventually come. A necessary evil. Yet, here they are trying to comfort me. A tear slowly trickles down my face. "She will be back, just give her some time." she whispers into my chest. I nod unconvinced and wipe my face.

Without warning, I lightly push away from Sam. I turn toward the forest and take off, shredding my clothes as I shift. I let Max take over completely because I know he's hurting, too. I didn't just lose a mate, he did, too. Regardless if Amanda is simply human or not, he bonded with her as much as I had. He loves her as much as I do. I never got to tell her. And now, I may never get the chance. We push through the burning in our muscles. I know exactly where he's heading...our secret spot.

This spot has been my solace, my safe haven for as long as I can remember. A ten-year-old shouldn't need a secret spot to grieve. A child shouldn't have to bear the weight of someone's life on their hands or their heart. I have his blood on my hands. Why was he there? Why was he frantically running through the woods that late at night? Why did he rush toward me? I didn't even know how impactful that one moment would be on my entire life, my future.

As we approach the ledge, Max sits down, but doesn't immediately give over control to me. I feel his pain. I let him mourn. He lifts his snout to the moon and lets out a gut-wrenching howl. As the silence once again takes over the forest, we hear other howls being raised up. I immediately know them. My friends are showing their love and respect for me. They don't blame me, they have never blamed me, I blame myself. I know as the future Beta I was only doing my job, but this experience will affect how I handle future situations. Give warnings. Be better aware of my surroundings. Interrogation before action. A death sentence should only be a last option, not a first.

Max finally relinquishes control. I pull on some clothes I keep stored here and sit on the ledge listening to the rushing water fall toward the Earth. I create my own waterfall as silent tears roll slowly down my cheeks. I haven't cried in a long time, but I don't try to stop them. I allow my mind to drift to the last time I was here. Her smell, her excitement, her expression when I lifted my hand from her eyes, the love I felt growing inside me. She's the only person I've shared this with and she's the only one I want to share things with. Now what? I live without her. I let her go to be with someone else. I remain here, alone.

"Well, that doesn't sound too promising," a female voice says. My head snaps behind me and I immediately jump into a fighter's stance.

"Who the hell are you? What do you want? How did you find my secret place?" I spat out angrily.

"I can find all of my children. I'm Celeste," she coos with a gentle smile on her face. Her long white hair flows in the light breeze of the peak. Her sparkling ice-blue eyes hold a gentle and loving warmth. She moves gracefully toward me as her long white robe trails the forest floor. It takes me a minute to process what she said.

"Celeste? Children? Oh shit!" I immediately fall to my knee to kneel before the Moon Goddess.

"Rise, my child. There's no need for you to kneel. I just need to provide you with some clarity." I rise and stare at her in awe. She's angelic in her movements and how she speaks. "I know you are heartbroken, but this is not the end of you and Amanda. The next four years will be a test of your love and faith." I feel a pang of hurt in my chest again with the thought of her being gone, but it's mixed with another emotion. Hope?

"There is danger coming and you must be prepared. Amanda will also need your protection and your love. She's special and stronger than you think, but your support is vital in your success in defeating the danger that's coming." A low growl slips out. Danger? What danger? I will not let anyone hurt her!

Celeste smiles as if she can hear my thoughts. "Use these next four years to train, grow, and prepare. That is the only way to save the life as you know it. Now, my child, you must keep this information secret until it is time to be revealed. Even from your closest friends and family. Yes, even your Alpha. I will guide you from above. Never lose faith as all will be as it should." her presence fades, leaving me once again alone. I stand amazed, but for the first time, I feel the weight of my guilt leave me. I ponder her words as I feel a plan forming.

I now have a purpose because I refuse to let anything happen to Amanda. I will use this time to make sure I'm prepared for whatever the future holds. I will also continue to protect her from the shadows. This I swear on my life. She is my mission and I will not fail.

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