25| Moving Forward

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Bryan's POV:

I close the mindlink from Luke. I watch as they leave her college apartment, loaded down with her stuff. She knows the truth. At least most of it.

Luke also reveals there's something we need to discuss once we get back. I told him we would talk after the dust settles with Amanda. He insisted, but I shut it down, saying I needed to focus on her well-being and not myself. He goes quiet and we end the conversation.

I mindlink James to let him know what's going on.

"Hey bro, how did things go?"

"She's coming home."

"That's great news. I'll set up a surprise homecoming party for her."

"I hope so."

"What's wrong Bryan? Isn't this what you've been waiting four long years for?"

"I'm just nervous. What if she rejects me? What if she refuses to forgive me? What if she's found someone else?"

"Dude, seriously! She hasn't dated anyone throughout her four years there and you know that already because you've been watching over her periodically. Hell, you even protected her from being assaulted by the douche bag at the club!"

"I know that, but she doesn't know all of that. I don't know man. I'm just scared. I want to protect her and make her mine. But I don't want her to feel forced to love me. She's been through so much. She deserves the world. Not a murderous mate." I fail to mention the mission given to me by the moon goddess herself. It's my job, my mission, to protect her and prepare for the danger ahead.

"Okay, that's enough of the self-loathing! It was an accident and you were doing what you thought was best to protect the pack! And, let me remind you that you were ten at the time, Bryan!" James' anger permeates through the link.

"I know. It doesn't change the fact she grew up without a father because of me. I don't want her to be hurt again. I just want her to be happy. It's no longer about what I want."

After a few moments of silence, Alpha James responds, "the only way to heal is to move forward. She knows the truth now and we no longer have to keep her in the dark. Let's just take it slow and let our world grow on her. She will come to see you as we all do. Now, hurry up and get home. I need my Beta back!"

I chuckle at his last statement. Taking a deep breath, I dash to the tree line and transform into my steel-grey wolf. Amanda never realized my eyes in human form reflected my wolf's color. Maybe we will one day get to show her. I allow Max to take over and get us home in no time. I knew we would easily beat Amanda, her mom, Sam, and Luke back to our pack's territory, since running through the forest is a straight shot unlike the interstate and side roads.

I cross our border straight to the pack house. Grabbing some sweat pants and a t-shirt from one of our designated clothing boxes scattered around, I slowly trudge up the front steps and enter the foyer. People are rushing around in a panic, but I quickly realize it's not from danger. Amanda's surprise homecoming party is in full decorating mode.

It makes me flashback to prom when I joined the committee simply to be around her more. The committee was responsible for planning and decorating the gym for prom. It was nice watching her delegate and get the whole team to work, myself included. I was in awe at how easily she got things done and prepared. The smile on her face as she took in the finished product is still one of my favorite visions of her.

"Welcome back, buddy!" I am ripped out of my memory with a slap on my back. My best friend and newly appointed Alpha, James shouts.

"I see the Luna went into full blown party mode." I take in all of the decorations, fabrics, people rushing about, and orders being shouted from one room to another.

"You know her." He laughs. Whitney became our Luna once James took the Alpha position. They had their ceremonies a few months ago. Alpha Xavier and Luna Rachel were more than happy to pass on the titles and take a back seat to the pack business. They were ecstatic to hear Amanda is in fact coming back, according to James.

"Yeah, my dad really likes her. I think he sees her as a daughter he never had. He said it would be good to have her back behind territory protection. Whatever that means," James said as he recounts the earlier conversation.

"Huh, I guess that would be my doing." I say with another pain crossing my chest.

"Dude, come on. You have to forgive yourself if you ever expect her to forgive you. Maybe you should talk to her mom first. She's always liked you, never once blamed you, and she can give you insight on what to do." James suggests.

"Yeah, maybe." I sigh. "But first, I want to give her time to adjust, you know, let the situation settle before anything else happens. I'm sure she's feeling overwhelmed at finding out about our world and the fact she's been a part of it this entire time without having a clue. She's probably feeling vulnerable and, frankly, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't really trust us. Anyway, I'm gonna go grab a shower." James takes into consideration what I just said, but before he can respond, Luna Whitney is calling his name. He beelines it for the kitchen. I chuckle and shake my head.

I ascend the stairs to my room. I need to get a shower and possibly take a nap before the party. I'm not sure how tonight will go or if she will even talk to me. I plan to give her all the space she needs as I refuse to force this life on her. Even though she knows about us, there's still more she doesn't know. I will be patient and hopefully she doesn't reject me. Moon Goddess, help me through this. I survived four years, but I think this may be even harder to get through.

I use my hot shower time to plan how to act during the party and what I should say to her, if anything. I settle on playing it cool, but safely distant so she doesn't feel uncomfortable. The last thing I want to do is scare her off again. I replay many of my fond memories of her from the homecoming game, our first kiss, prom, graduation, even her swim meets. Even during our time apart, I would find ways to see her. She is so graceful and beautiful.

I turn off the water and wrap a towel around my waist. I walk back into my room when I hear a light knock on my door.

"One sec." I answer. I quickly slip on some sweats before opening the door to the most beautiful sight I've ever seen. I can't speak and I just stand like a statue. Amanda stands there nervously for a second before she confidently looks into my eyes.

"We need to talk." As she walks around me and enters my room. So much for keeping my distance as I remain frozen in the door.

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