Chapter 10

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[Luke's POV]

I wanted to stay in the toilets all day. I just couldn't put up with my brain or confusion any longer. Being around Ashton just made my head spin. I should have never agreed to skipping with them. I knew that it would fuck with me.

The reason I didn't get any sleep last night was because I was thinking of him. I was thinking about what Pete had said about questioning my sexuality. I didn't think I was. I mean, I like Ashton. He's a cool guy. I just didn't think I was gay for him though. But after thinking about it for so long and so hard, it became obvious to me that I did have some type of romantic feelings for him.

This morning when Michael picked him up, I got butterflies in my stomach when he said hi to me. How girly is that? I always thought of myself as straight, but now that I think about it, I never got butterflies when a really pretty girl would say hi or even look my way. I always thought of it as a friendly gesture. I never thought 'oh my god, she talked to me' or anything like that. And then Ashton came along and now I'm confused as hell!

I knew Ashton was gay and I knew that he would be the one to talk to if I had questions, which I do, but I didn't want to considering that it was based on bantering and it was technically his fault I'm even questioning. I couldn't just randomly ask him how he knew he was gay. He wouldn't judge, but he would claim that I was taking Pete's joke way too seriously.

I didn't even know if Ashton had the same feelings for me if I were to be gay. Yeah, Michael and Pete said that he did, but again, that's just playful bantering. Nothing serious. I ran my hands through my hair and then went out of the stall to the sink, running some cold water into my hands and then splashing my face with it. I just needed to forget about it. I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. I'm straight. I like girls. Not a boy named Ashton Irwin, who I barely even know anything about.

With that repeating in my mind, I walked out of the toilets and back into the cafe. Michael and Ashton were still sitting at the table, laughing about something. I kept telling myself not to think of Ashton as anything more than a friend. I couldn't and I wouldn't. Because I'm as straight as an arrow.

"Well, you took a while. Did the coffee not agree with you?" Michael joked.

I rolled my eyes and chuckled, acting like my slight breakdown didn't just happen. "No, I fell asleep instead."

"I could see it. And then some old geezer comes in and bitches you out. Yeah, you'd be that guy," Michael laughed.

"More like you would be that guy, Clifford. Except you wouldn't leave. You'd go right back to sleep," Ashton chimed in, giggling. Dammit.

"Damn straight," Michael agreed.

"We should probably start heading back to the school so we're not late for second period," I said, just wanting to go back to my normal routine so my brain would calm the fuck down.

"Dude, we have, like, an hour. Why do you want to go to school so bad? You're not missing anything important," Michael laughed.

Fuck. There goes my escape route.

"I forgot. Sorry. The classes at my old school were shorter and we didn't have a block schedule," I laughed half-heartedly.

"It's all good, man," Michael said. "So, Ash and I were talking and we thought it would be a cool idea to hangout on Friday night again at my place or something. Maybe we could hit up James' party."

I thought about it, not really wanting to hangout with them for specific reasons but I didn't want them to think that I didn't want to hang out with them. They're literally the only real friends I have here. I really didn't want to go back to Calum and his group of douche bags.

"I'm not really a party type," I said, hoping that they would get the hint.

"You aren't the party type? That's like telling me that Caitlyn Jenner isn't a real person! You totally look like the party type!" Michael said.

"Are you making fun of my girl?" Ashton asked, hitting Michael's bicep.

"No, I love Caitlyn. That's why...ugh, never mind," Michael told him, flustered. "Anyway, we don't have to go. It isn't like a mandatory thing. We could just hang out and be lazy."

I was out of excuses. I could see Ashton looking at me out of the corner of my eye. I willed myself not to look at him and fawn over his adorable- oh my God, what am I thinking!?

"I'd have to check with my mum and see if I'm doing anything," I lied. I knew she would be okay with it because I finally had friends here, but I just wanted to think about it and see if I was still confused or not by then.

"Hopefully Pete doesn't decide that we need to work," Ashton piped up.

"Even if we do, Luke could come again. I think Pete liked him," Michael suggested. "But he won't ask if Rachelle and Cory decide to actually work this week."

They got into a conversation about their coworkers who are apparently lazy and always call in sick and then go to parties or whatever instead. I just took my seat and blocked them out, trying to tell my brain to shut up. I couldn't be attracted to Ashton. Why am I one that this had to happen to? I don't even know if my family accepts gay people. What if they didn't? My family is obsessed with me. Couldn't it happen to someone else I'm related to? Somebody that nobody ever sees and it wouldn't be a big deal if we're disowned? WHY ME!?!

"Hey, Luke, you okay?" Ashton said, snapping his fingers in front of my face.

I blinked my eyes quickly and looked at him, his hazel eyes a beautiful shade of green. "Y-yeah, I'm fine."

"You zoned out there," Ashton chuckled.

"Told you I'm tired," I laughed.

"I'm going to go hit on that hot lady over there and you kids do whatever you want," Michael said, his eyes fixed on a black and white dyed haired girl that was standing and waiting for whatever she ordered.

Ashton rolled his eyes as he got up and left us alone, which I didn't really want. I knew that I couldn't get away with just ignoring him because Ashton doesn't seem to enjoy silence for very long.

"So..." Ashton started, just like I had expected.

"So..." I repeated, not entirely sure of what he wanted me to say.

"You didn't take the sexuality joke serious or get offended by it last night, did you?" he asked.

I nearly choked on my drink when he said that. It was like he read my mind. "N-no. Was I supposed to?"

"Well, no," he chuckled. "Unless you really are."

"No, I'm not," I lied, faking a laugh. "I'm pretty sure I'm interested in girls."

"Okay, good. I was worried if we offended you. I didn't want to make you go all haywire and question anything," Ashton said, relief apparent in his voice.

Little did he know that he actually was making me question what I thought I had figured out.

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