Loathing: Lloyd Hansen

31.

• Lloyd Hansen. 9:23 am. April seventeenth. Croatia •

Twenty seven hours in labor.

Thirty minutes of unbearable pain for rowan.

Screaming.

Pain.

Reassurance.

Strength.

At 6:42 am, our baby girl was born.

Delilah Caroline Hansen. Her middle name after my mom. Rowan insisted on that.

Home birth was quite comfortable. I had everything set up in a spare room for the delivery. Somewhere with good air, comfy bed, really close to a bathroom, not so many breakable things.

Delilah's nursery would end up tight next to our bedroom.

But for now, Rowan I were enjoying our baby.

I sat with her on the bed. Rowan's head rested on my shoulder as I wrapped my arm around her. She was holding the baby.

The cute little thing had a pacifier in. Her eyes were blue. She already had a little bit of dark hair on her head.

She was so perfect.

Rowan and I were already in love with her.

I watched as her little hand latched onto my finger. Rowan awed.

"She's so precious." I said. "I cannot believe you pushed her out of you."

"Isn't it crazy?" She said. She was being so gentle. Her words, her voice. I loved it. I was so...happy.

For the first time in my entire life, I had something to live for. Not the fighting, not killing and torturing others to make up for my trauma. I was happy because I had a wife and a daughter. I had a family now. A family that I would protect and care for.

I wanted to do everything my father didn't do. I wanted to be there as much as I could. I wanted to be caring. I could read her bedtime stories, take her out, take her mom out, look after her, teach her how to shoot a gun, one day.

"Hansen I can practically hear your wheels turning in your head." Rowan said. I chuckled and kissed her temple.

"Sorry. I'm just really hapoy right now." I said. "For the first time I feel like I'm really on the right path. And it's a wide, open path. I have a wife, and a daughter. Im so excited because I get to be a dad and I get to take you two on trips and spoil you rotten and I'll play dress up and have tea parties and scare boys away. I see a future for the first time. You opened that door for me rowan."

She moved to look up at me. I smiled softly.

She had tears in her eyes.

"Having a baby makes me extremely soft already."

"You've been up for twenty seven hours too." I laughed.

"Lloyd, I love you." She whispered.

"I love you too Ro." I said.

I heard the door open quickly.

"Where's my niece?"

Suzanne walked in with Denny. I smiled at them.

"Hey." I said. I got up and shook Suzanne's hand before she went to sit in the chair next to my wife.

I brought denny into a bro hug.

"Cant believe you're a father now." Denny said.

"Yeah. Didn't think I ever would be, let alone married." I said.

"Honey, I can hear you." Rowan said. I chuckled. 

Denny looked over at Rowan. "Go sit with your wife." He said.

I smiled and went back to my spot next to her on the bed.

"Why does she already look like a mini Lloyd?" Suzanne asked.

"Oh Suzanne you'll see two of me now!" I said sarcastically.

"Great." She said. Rowan chuckled.

"What's her name?" Denny asked.

"Delilah Caroline." I said.

Denny smiled softly. He knew my moms name.

"That's such a perfect name." Suzanne said.

Rowan smiled. I kissed her head lightly.

"You guys need anything? Waters? Food?" I asked.

"That baby has already made you soft." Denny said. I laughed.

• • •

I took the baby while rowan tried to get some sleep in. Denny and Suzanne were somewhere in the mansion.

Delilah was starting to fall asleep in my arms. She was quiet. Rowan slept soundly next to me. She was on some meds for the pain.

I looked at Delilah. She was so perfect.

I was a motherfucking dad.

I watched as she quickly fell asleep. Once I knew I set her in her crib and carefully got into bed with rowan.

I wrapped my arms around her. I rested my head on hers before quickly falling asleep too.

I know it's a short chapter but THEY HAD THEIR BABY WOOOOO