Nightmares From The Past

35. Tap That

Mom came in and closed the curtains along the front of the house. I think that was at dad's request though after reading my texts and seeing how Theo was acting. It still took a couple minutes for dad to come back in. It wasn't until I heard Theo's car driving away that I realized why he'd waited. I pulled my sleeves down and held them tight. Knowing the bruise forming on my wrist would set off my dad if he saw it.

Dad didn't waste any time getting his winter gear off, and coming around to sit on the coffee table in front of me. I couldn't look him in the eyes. I knew as soon as I did, I'd break down again. I wasn't going to tell dad about what exactly Theo did to me. I couldn't.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

His voice was stern but soothing. I could tell he was rubbed the wrong way by Theo being there against my wishes more than once. He wanted to know more from me but didn't want to push me. He never pushes me. I shook my head no, and didn't look at him. I took a deep breath before talking.

"He messed up, big. I think it's over. I don't see a way to come back from this. I don't want to see him. But he's trying to weasel his way back in."

I couldn't say anything else. I thought I had already said too much. It left room to speculate and for his imagination to run wild. But I knew if I didn't tell him something, that he wouldn't let it go, or he'd ask Theo to elaborate while he was here next. And I knew there would be a next time. I knew he would fight for me, for us. I was flattered but I still felt super violated. He'd tried to tear my clothes off me. Had his dick out, and tried several times to get access to my opening to shove it in. I felt it rubbing all over me as he tried to pin me on my back and get my pants off me. He was so strong that I could hardly fight back. These were all things I hoped to never tell my parents or Dylan. They didn't need to know. I told Sammie because I trust her. She would never go behind my back and tell anyone.

"I'm sorry you're going through this, sweetie. I'll keep him out as long as you want. And I'm always here to talk if you need me, okay?"

I nodded and he wrapped his arms around me. Tears slipped down my cheeks as he held me. I used all my strength to get them to stop long enough to excuse myself and head upstairs. I stripped out of my clothes and threw on one of Dylan's old t-shirts that he had let me wear home one night. I kept it, with his approval, and wore it often.

After climbing into bed, I had checked my phone. Thirty-two missed calls from Theo. He wasn't stopping. I could turn my phone off. Turn off the world for the day. But part of me wanted to hear him in pain. When I saw his name pop up on the screen again, I answered it.

"Wait, Everly? Are you there?"

His voice was sad. It even cracked when he said my name, which made me think he had been crying. My heart hurt hearing him like that. But there was a twinge of happiness that he was suffering too.

"You won't stop calling."

"I need to see you bunny. Please!"

The sound of his nickname for me made me cringe. It was a nickname only he called me. Short for honey bunny. I used to love that he had a special nickname for me. Used to love hearing him say it. But now — now it had a different feel to it. He'd want to keep saying it to keep the memories there, while I now associated it with an attempted rape. My brain was so scrambled.

The happy memories now were clouded with this horrible storm. I didn't want any of it. Wished I could go back and change things. If I didn't go over that night, it wouldn't have happened. But how was I supposed to know it was going to happen? It was supposed to be just the two of us. He hardly drank when it was just us two. But then Travis showed up. The biggest sex crazed idiot on the team. They had decided to play beer pong while they watched some sports game on the tv. I went out and soaked in the hot tub while they played just inside. They looked like they were having fun. When it started snowing, I came in. The covered porch blocked out most of the snow coming down, but the wind had it blowing almost sideways.