I See Colors | Taegi

fourty-two

"Ew!
That's so disgusting!
He's going to eat us!"

   Sanghoon laughs at his own joke
   before his face turns serious.

   He raises his hand
above my face.

   I push myself against the locker
   as if it'll suddenly open
   and push me inside.

   Sanghoon starts to laugh
   and turns to high five his friend,
   but the boy backs away.

"Don't touch me.
I don't want AIDs."

I hear them laugh as I open my eyes.
My back gets stiff.

There should be cameras.
They will show everything.

I take this as a chance,
and run down the hallway
in shoes that weren't made for running.

The clacks of my leather shoes against the tile stop
when I turn a corner
and know that they aren't running after me.

I hear faint music play
as I reach the music room
and lean onto the wall to catch my breath.

How come people follow rumors
more than compliments?

Why can't people be more like Yoongi or Hoseok
and look past them?

Why do I feel disgusting
even if I did nothing wrong?

My wrist goes numb
   but I still feel it sting.

I keep asking myself questions
because nothing makes sense.
I thought they were done bullying me.
I thought having something good happen
meant that more good things would happen.

I get to the music room
and open the door.

Yoongi raises his head
as the music from the piano stops.

"Tae?
Did something happen?"

Does he know?
How could he know?

My wrist stings more.

"Why are you asking?"

That came out more rude than I wanted.

Yoongi looks at the clock.
"It's been almost twenty minutes
   since lunch started."

"Oh."
I walk over to the chair.
"I'm sorry.
The teacher wanted me to bring papers
to the front office."

   Yoongi sighs and
   shakes his head.
"Don't worry.
You're here now."

When I sit down,
Yoongi looks at my hands
and widens his eyes.

"Tae?
Are you okay?"

I look at the top of my wrist
and see a red scrape that reaches
slightly further than halfway across it.

"I'm okay."

"Come on."
Yoongi stands up.
"We need to go to the nurse
and get it disinfected."

"Why can't we go to the bathroom?"

Yoongi puckers his lips in disgust.
"Have you seen the boys bathroom?
That's the place you go to for diseases."

   Despite my wrist and what happened before,
   Yoongi still makes me smile.

   His hand holds my arm
   and pulls it closer to him.
   My foot moves forward
   so I don't fall.

   I clench my fingers.

   Is he about to
   kiss my hand?

   "How did that even happen?"

   Yoongi grips my arm lightly
   and his thumb lays on the skin above the cut.

   "...Paper cut."

   Yoongi stares at me.
   I stare back,
   but find it hard to do so.

   "Don't lie to me."

   I bite my lip and look back at the cut.
   It isn't deep enough to drip down,
   but I can still clearly see blood
   reveal itself.

   Yoongi pulls my arm.
   "Let's go to the nurse."

   He leads me out the door
   so softly that
   it makes me feel weightless.

   What can I do to repay him?