I See Colors | Taegi

thirty-three

It's the second day of Jeul-Ju,
   and I'm in astronomy
   drawing Yoongi on a blank piece of paper.

I take a few glances to Yoongi
to make sure I'm getting his features right.
   I don't glance too much
   so the teacher doesn't catch me not paying attention again.

I've drawn people
as much as I have drawn spaceships and planets.
Most of them have been in space suits
staring up at a universe only they can explore.

Maybe one day,
I'll wear that suit
and discover something in our universe
that nobody thought could exist.

I turn to glance at Yoongi once more
to see what his lips look like,
but his eyes meet mine and
a soft smile blooms on his face.

I quickly turn back to my drawing.

As I see my work,
I realize how odd I must've looked
   and hit my head on the desk.

The bell rings.

I lift my head up as voices crowd around me
and I hide my drawing in my folder.

Yoongi walks past me
and I notice two girls stare at him
then whisper to each other.

As I leave the classroom,
I hear a female voice shout my name.

I turn around
and the two girls are in front of me.
One has an angry pout,
while the other looks like she doesn't want to be here.
The angry one is shorter
yet looks less cutesy than the taller one.

"Haemi-yah.
You don't have to go this far.
Let's just go."

"Stop talking."

I look at the teacher's glare behind them.
"How about you go somewhere else to talk instead?"

Haemi grabs my wrist
and pulls me outside.

"Haemi, stop.
He did nothing wrong."

The taller girl tugs Haemi's hand away from me
but she still doesn't let go.

I'm stuck in confusion
as we stand on the side of the hallway.
Because it's lunch for all seniors,
I can't make an excuse
for them to leave.

"Haemi. Please just let him eat."
The girl sighs.
"My God."

"What're you trying to do, Alien? Huh?"
   She glares at me.

   I become speechless
   and swallow back some laughs
that want to ease the tension.

   "W-... What?"

   Her friend mouths an 'I'm sorry'.

   "We saw how Min Yoongi looked at you.
   And Jihae said that you denied her confession
   and crushed her heart!
   Are you trying to damage the school's reputation?"

   I don't say anything.

   I've seen people whisper about me
   enough to make a world record,
   but there have only been four people
   who have been direct
about their negative thoughts of me.

   "Do you know how long it would take
   for a girl to get that reaction out of him?"
   She asks,
   "Minyoo's been trying ever since he got here!
   You're making this school look bad."

   It's odd,
   but her insults don't cut too deep for me.
   I'm just
   surprised.

   Her anger turns into disgust.
   "Are you...
gay?"

   My eyes widen.

   Her friend covers Haemi's mouth.

   "Haemi!"
   She successfully gets her to let go of me.
   "You don't ask a random guy
   what his sexuality is."

   Haemi pushes her hand away from her mouth.
   "Are you, though?"

   How come the words I want to say
   have vanished from my vocabulary?

   Her friend looks around.
   "Just- Go to lunch, Haemi.
   You must be hungry."

   "Fine.
   But share Min Yoongi with us, okay?
   You're going to brainwash him, Alien.
   Possessive douche."

   Haemi glares at me once more
   before walking away.

   Her friend bows.
   "I am so sorry for her.
I promise she doesn't normally act this way.
   Here- Uh...
   I'll buy you a muffin."

   "No. It's okay."
   I smile
   as words finally come back to me.
   "My friend's probably waiting
   for me to eat with them."

   "Who?"

   Hoseok stands next to her
   and raises an eyebrow.

Today is not going
in the way I thought it would.