I See Colors | Taegi

five

The next day, during school,
   I hear more voices than normal
   talk about astronomy.

   I continue to walk to my class
   squished with everyone else,
   noticing two people
   clearly react to my presence.
   Another thing
   that's quite abnormal.

   Then I hear someone walking next to me
   say Yoongi's name
   and snicker.

   My head swings around to them
   before looking away again
   so they wouldn't notice
   that I acted
   for myself
   and not
   as them.

   "What? Are you serious?
   He thought the sun is blue?"

   "Apparently."
   She laughs with her sarcastic remark.
   "Not gonna lie,
   I thought he was cute at first,
   but I guess all cute guys are stupid as hell."

   "Yeah."
   More laughter.
   "Remember when you had a crush on Taehyung?
   That was damn embarrassing for both of us."

   "Oh shut up!
   You always mention that!
   This is why I refuse to love people anymore.
   I've made my philosophy;
   Cute boys are dense."

   Then they walk into a classroom
   and the warning bell rings.

🔴  🟠  🟡  🟢  🔵  🟣  ⚪️

   Once lunch begins,
   I make my way back to the music room,
   part of me hoping
   that Yoongi will be there.

   As I walk,
   I notice that the topic of astronomy has lifted
   and now people are talking about
   a verbal fight that happened
   during a history class.

   Though I want to blend in with everyone,
   one thing I don't want
   is to seem like I've learned nothing
   after being bullied and talked about
   for three years of my life
   in order to blend in
   with people who refuse to understand
   that words have sharp edges
   that hurt them and the other person.

   What makes me weird to them
   is that I understand
   that each word has its own unique meaning
   and it's own unique taste and color,
   and I can use them
   without treating them
   like bullets.

   When I get to the music room,
   I hear the out of tune piano
   play a gentle song
   and feel a smile grow on my face.

   After I open the door,
   I see Yoongi sitting on the brown piano
   looking at me
   with a small frown and
   his unintentionally cold eyes.
   The music is gone
   along with my smile.

   "Oh... I'm sorry,
   I didn't mean to interrupt...you..."

   I lose my words
   when the words of everyone else
   begin filling my tongue.

   I bite on it
   a bit too harshly
   and pain shoots through my mouth
   with my mind blaring
   like it's an alarm.

   Yoongi stares at me
   with the same confusion he had
   when he was realizing that
   the star in the photo
   wasn't the sun.