I See Colors | Taegi

fourty-five

I walk to the bookstore after school
   feeling more free with each step.

   Despite the cold weather,
the sun still shines like it's summer.

   Being outside and
   seeing the world
   is enough to make me feel better.

Jeul-Ju is over,
and it felt like the only times it was enjoyable
was when I was with Yoongi.

I still can't help but worry.
I don't know how to act
or how hanging out with friends outside of school
works.

Are there unspoken rules?
Did I need to bring money?

"Tae! Over here."

I turn my head
and see Yoongi walk out of the store
with a small grin.
There's a small rectangular camera
connected to a strap
hung around his neck.

I stop walking
and wave.
"Hi."

   "Are you ready?"

   "Yeah.
   Did I need to bring money?"

   Yoongi shakes his head.
   "There's no need to.
C'mon. We're going to head to the park.
There are a lot of good views
there and on the way."

He swats his hand,
and I trail behind him.

   "Don't walk behind me."
   He stops and waits for me.
   "Here."

   Yoongi takes off his camera.
   He then holds my arm up
   and carefully wraps the black strap
   around my wrist.

   "Why are you doing this?"
   I mumble.
   My voice is too tired
   to raise.

   "Easier to take photos this way."

   This is starting to make me feel
   awkward and
   embarrassed.

   He lets go of the strap with a smile.
   "This camera works pretty much the same way
   as most other cameras like it.
   Do you need help
   or are you okay?"

   I hold the camera with both my hands
   and investigate it.

   "...I think I know."

This camera looks very similar
to Mom's old camera
I used to use,
except it looks less
dusty.

"Take as many photos as you feel like."
Yoongi says,
"The storage is cleared."

I look around the area
and already the train tracks nearby
give me inspiration.

"Are you really okay
with me taking pictures
on your camera?"

He looks at me and shrugs.
"I trust you.
   And this isn't professional.
   We're having fun,
   not preparing a portfolio."

   Somehow,
   when Yoongi reassures me
   it feels special.
   Like he doesn't do it often.

My feet start to take me
wherever they want to go.

   As we follow the train tracks,
   I take two photos.
   One of the tracks,
   and another of a man
   walking down a flight of stairs.

   "Kind of a random question,"
   Yoongi says as we walk to a stop light,
   "But is there something
   you've always wanted to do?"

   I think for a moment
   to come up with my best answer.

My eyes wander up to the cloudy sky,
and suddenly I get an idea.

   "I really want to go stargazing
   in a place where
   there's no polluted air
   blocking the sky."

   Yoongi hums.

   "What about you?"

   He checks to see if there's any cars
   before looking back at me.

   "There's quite a bit that I want to do,
   but something I've always wanted to happen
   is to do what I enjoy
   with someone I care about,
   and this is the third time this year
   that box has been checked off."