Sealed With a Kiss

A rant on Wattpad Titles & More

W A R N I N G:

This is an uncensored note, completely done as a joke and not intended to insult anyone. It's my own opinion.

Any resemblance to one specific Wattpad book is completely coincidental, I do not wish to alienate or critique any one story. This is not a diatribe or attack, just my own slightly comedic views on Wattpad story titles and an update on my own writing process.

Please no one take it too seriously, it's just me being me! Simply a rant in which I get my own voice (not Poppy's or Elle's or anyone else's) out to talk to you guys because I feel I rarely do that.
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A Rant On Wattpad Titles
With Stephany James
(Lol *insert eye roll*)

Okay, so this popped in my mind because of my own quest to think of a title for Scott Hastings's story. As the days went on and I sat here thinking and thinking, I kept drawing blanks and only focusing on the type of titles I didn't want.

The following are my ultimate title pet peeves. You know when they say to not judge a book by its cover? Fuck that I do it anyway. If a book has a great cover, interesting synopsis, and a cool catchy title, you better believe I'll add it to my library.

The title, for me anyway, usually holds the potential of swaying my opinion. Like if the story doesn't have a lot of reads and the cover isn't all that great but the title has caught my attention then I'll give it a try.

Some of these things are pardonable, some not so much. And hey, some of these things I've done so it's not a criticism on anyone!

1) Cheesy Titles
Usually I see this from actually published authors. Like the crappy $2.99 On-Sale romance novels with a shirtless man on the cover. That in itself is enough to stray me away! But then it gets even more creepy (trust me, I've tried reading those type and regretted it) and the sex scenes are like insanely sexist and overly masculine.

I can't stand it! As a self-proclaimed feminist that will one day work in a field where men usually dominate (Law, just like Remy) I can't even stomach reading books like that. And the way you can pick them out is from the title. It's always something like "Forever His" or "Tamed by [insert name]"

Um eww. I feel uncomfortable just typing that. I feel like some giant shirtless man with long flowy hair is going to burst through my door any second. What's that guys name? Fabio? I don't know but it's always the same plot and it seriously gives me shivers (and not the type the author was hoping for!)

There's a teacher at my school known not for her amazing teaching skills (go figure) but for her alter ego. Underpaid high school teacher by day, and ''naughty' novelist by night. A few students found out about it and looked up her stories.

It's now a common drinking game to read it out loud at parties and take a shot every time a 'naughty' word comes up.

America's public school youth. Prime example right there of how ridiculous we can be.

2) Billionaire/CEO

Okay, I tried very hard to like this kind of thing. Hell, I've even written about a billionaire.

It's just so creepy. Like here's the description authors always use for the billionaire:

Young because obviously you'll be rich as sin before you're 21, that makes sense. Yep. Totally.

Hot because let's face it. Every rich guy I know is young and sexy. Just ask Donald Trump, he'll agree.

Great in bed. Hey, he's skillful in meetings and even in the sheets. Also, he will probably have some abnormally large part of his anatomy that somehow makes him godly. And let's not forget the fact that the girl is always always a virgin. A beautiful, 20-something year old virgin who can't simply resist the allure of Mr. CEO. Yeah, totally realistic.

Italian. 2/3 times he's Italian. I admit I'm guilty of this. But I'd like to believe Dante isn't too overrated.

Controlling. Um I don't know about you guys, but if I wanted a controlling boyfriend I'd sleep with Hitler. Maybe it's books like 50 Shades that made controlling men sexy and alluring, but if Christian Grey was an actual CEO without the hot aura and kinky allure, he'd be fat, old, and a sexist pig. I don't find it sexy, and ladies you shouldn't either. If any man pulled on me half the shit I read both from published and watty authors, he would long ago have lost the ability to reproduce.

The macho image is primitive and honestly quite scary. Equality is sexy.

...Maybe that's just me.

But it's so easy to make fun of! It's always the same plot and usually the same title. It's like "The CEO's Girl [or Bride or Fake Bride or Lover]" or "Working for Mr. [insert name]"

That it. That's about as creative as it gets. It makes me giggle every time I search for a new story on Wattpad and its the same story only variations of it. But hey, if you like it go for it! I just can't stand the cliche-ness of it all. My goal is to make Made of Dishonor creative and different, even though Dante is a rich Italian hottie.

3) Bad boy

"The Good Girl's Bad Boy"

"Falling for the Bad Boy"

"The Nerdy Girl and the Bad Boy"

Those are fake examples of the different type of "bad boy" stories I've ever encountered. It's highly unrealistic that a nerdy, socially awkward girl will get chased by a bad boy.

If I classified myself, I'd say I'm a smart ish-popular girl. I have tons of friends and I don't have braces and zits (although I wear nerdy Ray Ban glasses. But they're totally hipster I promise!) and let me tell you I'd stay away from any real bad boys. No romance there.

I tutor, okay? I've done the dumb jocks and the I-don't-care-about-my-future bad boys. It's not attractive. I just sit through the hour and a half of helping them with basic algebra hoping my misery ends soon.

Real bad boys are not hot. Moving on now...

4) Ridiculously long titles

These are my favorite to make fun of! I feel like they're everywhere. It's always super detailed that makes me not even have to read the synopsis to figure out what the story's even about!

It's always like "The Girl he Loved then Betrayed and Then Apologized"

"The Billionaire CEO's Beautiful Secretary He Marries."

"Loving the Bad boy and having his Baby."

Fine, so I'm exaggerating! But still...They get more and more ridiculous each time. I know the entire plot without having to even click on it. Some get really humorous, and not even on purpose.

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My Own Writing Process Update

Yeah, so I'm not a very nice person. Whatever I'm already over it. The real reason for posting this little rant was so I could get my voice through to all you beautiful readers. But also to tell you the name I chose for Scott and Remy's story.

I loved so many of your suggestions! It's crazy how our thoughts were so closely linked; I had similar ideas and I was able to morph your suggestions with my own to come up with this title:

The Art of Courting

I kind of love it!!!!!!! 😍 It doesn't follow the wedding theme but yet again Sealed With a Kiss technically doesn't either. I'm happy with it!

Thank you guys so much for your awesome suggestions. Let me know what you think of my decision and drop me a comment if you agree with any of my thoughts above!

*********if a have time to write this weekend then I'll update SWK. This is just something I had half written and decided I'd post!