Up All Night ➸ One Direction [ EDITING as of June 2020 ]

38 : Begin Again

Hope you enjoy. Sorry for any mistakes in advance xx

Chapter 38: Begin Again

I went to bed that night with that four letter word echoing in my mind. Is love really all this painful? I wanted it to be simple, for it to come easily, but it's the exact opposite with Harry. Just because it's difficult and frustrating, doesn't mean I can just delete my feelings for him. They're real, despite how painful it may feel; despite however many times my heart was ripped out of my chest, thrown to the ground and stomped on. Thing is though, I don't think I can take any more.

Tossing my thoughts aside, I placed the remainder of my clothes back inside my suitcase. The putting in was the easy part, but zipping it closed was another story. I sat on it and put all my weight on it in hopes it'd allow me to zip the darn thing up, but it was no use.

"Summer?" I called out. Shortly after I felt like an idiot. She wasn't even in the room. I groaned in frustration and attempted to zip up my suitcase once more only to no avail.

"Need some assistance?" A familiar voice asked. It was smooth, deep and a voice I'd recognize anywhere. It felt like it'd been centuries since we spoke to one another, but he continued to have the same effect on me. Goosebumps rose to my skin as my heart fluttered in my chest. My eyes wandered up his figure and I took in the sight of Harry in his black skinny jeans and white t-shirt that hung loosely from his body. I stared into his green orbs. His face showed no expression, but he looked back at me intensely, his eyes never leaving mine.

I forced myself to look away and pushed myself off my suitcase. For a second I'd forgotten he asked a question. He'd always leave me in some sort of trance. "I uh, I guess I do. I can't get it to zip up," I finally told him. My eyes met his again and immediately he looked away to look at my suitcase. He stepped inside the room carefully and placed himself by it.

"If you want, I can carry some of your clothes in my bag. You've got loads of stuff in here. What'd you do, pack for a three month vacation?" He teased, attempting to zip it up as well. Our laughs filled the room and once again our eyes met. It seemed like time froze. We sat and stared at each other a moment and I found myself getting lost in his eyes. A part of me loved this, but another knew it was no good. I knew that this couldn't happen. I'd only be digging a deeper hole. I can't allow myself to endure this pain anymore.

My smile faltered and I cleared my throat, painfully looking away from the curly haired boy. "It's alright. I'll just ask Summer to carry some."

Silence filled the room. Moments later he made his way towards the door. I watched his retreating back, growing sadder with each step he took away from me. Harry stopped once he reached the doorway and turned to look at me. His lips parted in preparation for him to speak, but no words fled from his mouth. He looked down at the floor, scrunching his face in thought.

"Breakfast is ready," he finally said. This time, Harry didn't bother looking at me. He disappeared from my vision and once again, I stood inside the room alone, frozen. This wasn't going to get any easier.

* . * . * . * . *

The seats at the table slowly began to be filled by all of us. Walking in, I glanced around at all the food that was neatly placed around the large wooden table and chose a seat that was facing the doorway. The food looked delicious. I didn't realize how hungry I was until my stomach began to growl at the sight of it.

My eyes wandered to the doorway once again and I watched as Harry made his way to the seat across from me. Shortly after, Niall skipped his way in, his smile growing wider at the sight of the food. I couldn't help the small chuckle that escaped my lips. My smile faded slowly as Josh eyed Harry as he walked in. Harry and Josh most likely haven't spoken about yesterday's events. I couldn't see Josh angry, but he would have a right to be. At the same time though, Harry was drunk.