Always & Forever | 5sos

14. frustrated

I woke up this morning feeling like shit. Not only was I in the middle of my lovely cycle, but I was nervous as to what Ashton had in store for me today.

I didn't mean to miss the surgery. Had he let me explain that- maybe things would've been better.

I got up and got ready. I skipped breakfast because I was so stressed.

I got to work around 6am. It was still very dark and with snow falling softly on the ground.

So quiet and so peaceful.

Not for long.

I walked in and put my stuff in my locker. I grabbed my coat & stethoscope and headed toward Ashton's office.

As I was walking there, I was getting more nervous by the second. I know I'm an intern and basically the lowest of the low in the hospital hierarchy, but I still had some hope.

When I got to the dreaded door, I knocked on it.

"Come in" said a gruff voice.

As I walked in, I saw him sitting there behind his desk in front of a ton of paperwork. His office was so modern. It was surrounded by floor to ceiling windows, giving a perfect view of the falling snow. His desk was in the corner and there was a nice grey couch with a door leading to his personal bathroom to the right.

"Look who made it" he spoke without looking up from his desk.

He looked up to me. "There's a lot on your to do list today." He told me.

"First you're going to do rounds. I want detailed reports of every single patient. Everything."

I looked up to him. "But rounds don't start for another hour?" I told him.

"Exactly. You're going to go and make sure you take detailed notes so you know what the hell you're doing for when we officially start".

This was bullshit. There were only a few Inpatients but last night before I left, I updated each of their charts.

"If you have a problem with it, then you can take your shit and walk out this hospital." he said in a dark voice.

I looked up at him and nodded. I walked out and made my way to do my pre-rounds.

...

After I was finished, I made my way back to his office. His door was open, so I walked in. But he wasn't there. The sun had risen now and the snow was still falling. It was mesmerizing.

I stood there for a few moments enjoying my tranquility before I heard someone behind me.

"I see you've finished." He spoke as he made his was around me to his desk.

I nodded. "I did. All the reports are updated" I told him.

"Good." he spoke as he sat down in his chair.

"Next thing- you have to go to the lab and check on results" he told me.

Everyone knows the lab takes FOREVER! What was the point?

"Sir the lab takes forever and you just out in those orders. There's no way those will be finished this fast." I told him softly.

He looked up at me with a stoic expression on his face. "Last time I checked, I was the attending and you were the intern. If I tell you to do something, you go and freaking do it. Got it?" He said aggressively.

I could feel the tears rising in my eyes. I nodded and looked down.

"Good. Now leave."

I made my way to the lab and checked on the reports.

Surprise, they weren't filled yet. Well du.

I made my way back to his office.

As I walked in, he looked up.

"They weren't finished yet." I told him.

"I know" he said with no expression.

I finally had enough. "SO THEN WHY DID YOU WASTE MY TIME?" I yelled at him with a wobbly voice.

Gosh my hormones. I was tired, hungry and in pain.

He looked up to me and said nothing. I continued.

"Look I missed a surgery. Big deal. It happens. I'm not perfect. I had very bad cramps yesterday and I was just trying to get some notes done and I lost track of time. I didn't mean to embarrass you. You have me running around like a chicken without a head and I'm tired and hungry and I have the world's most terrible cramps" I told him in one breath. Damn those tears.

He still said nothing, but stood up. "Are you finished?" he said in a calm voice.

I nodded.

"Go in the bathroom and clean up." He told me as he pointed to the bathroom in his office.

I did as said and came back out.