Always & Forever | 5sos

10. fall apart

Throughout the day, I worked hard to try and get the hang of things. Thankfully, the nurses helped out a ton. They were literal lifesavers.

I only had about 2 hours left of my shift.  The evenings were a bit slower.

I sat at the desk in the ER and was filling in all my patient notes. That was one thing I despised about my job. I hated typing every single thing into the computer, but oh well.

Suddenly, there was a lot of commotion all at once. I saw nurses and doctors suiting up and running outside. I quickly grabbed my stethoscope and ran outside too.

About three ambulances pulled up consecutively. I ran to the last one.

As soon as it opened, my heart dropped. It was like I couldn't move and I was stuck in my place. I couldn't hear anything but focus on what was in front of me.

There on the stretcher, Senna laid. Covered in blood.

Her clothes were all ripped, she had tubes coming from everywhere & a mask over her face.

I still couldn't move. I couldn't think. My bestfriend was laying on a stretcher in front of me.

I can't live without her. She's my rock. My safe place. My other half.

I came out of my trance when I was pushed by Ashton and Luke.

"Twenty-two year old female in an MVC." I heard the paramedic yell out.

"Okay let's take her to triage 4." Yelled a nurse.

I blindly followed. As I made it to the room, I saw chaos.

Nurses and doctors were running everywhere. Taking X-rays. Checking to see what was broken.

A complete nightmare.

"ARYA, DONT JUST STAND THERE, GET YOUR ASS IN HERE NOW!" I heard Dr. Vitello yell at me.

I had tears in my eyes. I couldn't function.

I went next to her and held her hand. All the doctors and nurses were taking good care of her. Right now, she needed someone. Some comfort.

And I was going to give that to her.

I stood beside her and wiped some hair from her face. My hand was now covered in blood. My other hand was holding hers, squeezing for comfort.

She wasn't awake, but if she could hear or feel, she'd know I'm here.

I felt someone push me out.

Dr. Vitello.

"ARYA, WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?" she yelled at me.

"YOU'RE A FREAKIN DOCTOR ON THE UNIT! IF AN ACCIDENT COMES IN, YOU CAN'T BABY OUT, YOU HELP!" she continued to yell.

It was then I broke.

I fell to the floor and started crying.

I started crying cause I wasn't sure if she was going to make it. If I would have to live alone.

All these thoughts.