Survivalist

Chapter 17

Summary:

Reconciliation in Alexandria is harder than you thought. As you try to adjust back to life in Alexandria you remember the terrors of Terminus.

Notes:

Hello lovely readers!
I am so excited to be releasing this chapter. I really want to hear feedback story wise. It makes me so happy to hear all of your feedback and I want more of it. Also I want to know if people are still around reading haha. Please drop a comment and tell me what you're thinking!

Chapter Text

You had decided to stay in Daryl's house as you adjusted back to life in Alexandria. You had been there for around four weeks. Rosita stayed over most nights, and the three of you shared his bed. Sometimes Daryl would stay in her home, leaving you alone for a night. Life felt hard, strange now. The storm had ended, but you were stuck in limbo. You were trying to find a balance in your new life. People in Alexandria didn’t trust you enough yet to do major jobs, but you didn’t like just sitting around. You mostly spent time working on the community garden, picking fruits and vegetables and weeding the plants. You took long walks, wandering aimlessly around the town. Everytime you walked you would remember something new. Sometimes you would remember spending time with Carl when you had started to feel safe in Alexandria. Those nights when you and Rick would sit on the porch and talk quietly to one another. Other memories were less kind, like memories of The Wolves. Memories of herds, and death. As much as you missed him, you hadn’t visited Negan since you were removed from the cell. You imagined eventually you would, but you thought it better not to. Like Rick said, you needed to build back up your relationships in Alexandria. You decided to start it one morning, and began to bake homemade brewed a pot of tea. You made a mental list of the relationships you needed to mend. There was Aaron, who had a baby to take care of. Carol, who you had never had a particularly strong relationship to begin with, and Michonne. The last was Rick. he needed the most time, and to your own credit, so did you. He hurt you. He did you wrong. The weather was in the end of winter, spring about to begin. There was still a chill in the air. As you went towards Michonnes house, you almost nervously knocked on the door. You were waiting on her porch, wondering if it was too late to run out, to leave. Maybe she didn’t hear you knock. She did, and she opened the door with a look of confusion.

“Hi… I just wanted to stop by and say hey.” You greeted, holding up your thermos filled with tea. She smiled, and let you in. 

The two of you sat on her couch, sipping on the camomile. She hadn’t spoken, and neither had you. Michonne could be a person of very few words, you knew that. And you knew that if you didn’t say anything, she might never start. You inhaled, preparing to lay everything down on the table, apologize for any wrongdoings. But to your surprise, she began the conversation. 

“What Maggie said in the car… She was wrong. You don’t deserve to die.” She told you. 

You could tell she was being honest, but you still didn’t believe her. The truth was, you thought you did deserve to die. Many times, in fact. And if you had died at the prison instead of Hershel… everything would be different. Hell, if you had died at the CDC maybe everyone would still be alive. Maybe your life was causing a domino effect of death. 

“I’m not sure if I believe that.” You said, calmly taking a sip. 

Michonne nodded, and looked you in the eyes. 

“You never changed, I know that. You never betrayed us, you never hurt us. Like you said in the car, you didn’t want to fall in love with Negan. This will be hard, but I know you. So does Daryl, so does Rosita… so did Carl. And I think Rick knows the truth too.” she let out her hand, and kindly placed it over yours. She gave you a tight squeeze, and you exhaled in the affection.