Survivalist

Chapter 15

Summary:

You remember leaving The Prison as an unfortunate event leads you back home.

Notes:

SPOILER WARNING!
Please don't read this chapter if you haven't passed season eight of The Walking Dead. There are major character deaths in this chapter so please don't read unless you have watched past season eight or you're okay with being spoiled. Thank you guys for reading! Love y'all
(˶◡‿◡)(´ ❥ ')

Chapter Text

When the hour is nigh
And hopelessness is sinking in
And the wolves all cry
To fill the night with hollering
When your eyes are red
And emptiness is all you know
With the darkness fed
I will be your scarecrow

Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons

Time felt like it moved a little too slow in the little cabin. Between you and Carson, you found it hard to tell how long it had truly been. A day? A week? A month? The two of you mostly just sat around waiting for something. Your belly would continue to grow, and there would be no sign of Negan, or the others. You began to think that maybe Negan had died. Maybe Rick or Maggie had been able to kill him in their surprise attack. Maybe you and dr. Carson were waiting for a dead man. That made you shudder to think about. If he was really dead, how long would you and Dr. Carson stay before you decided it was safe to go back to the Hilltop? More importantly, what if it wasn’t safe. What if your decisions had made it impossible to go back there. Every action did have an equal opposite reaction, yes that was Newton's third law and mostly it applied to science. But you believed that law to be true to life as well, you saw it to be true with the way that karama seemed to hit. You had sex with Negan. You got pregnant with Negan's baby. Rick, the man that you used to love might have an equal and opposite reaction to your pregnancy. Maybe you were just reading into things. You hummed to yourself, you were learning how to knit. You were not too good at it, but it was something to do. You were knitting little socks. You had one pair done in a light yellow, and were now waiting to finish another pair in an ashy orange tone. You kept thinking over and over of what Hershel had said to you in your dream. It did also happen to be the last thing that he said to you in real life.

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil.”

You had to fear no evil. Even if that was what you wanted to do, even if it was easier to fear than to show strength against evil. You would fear no evil. You listened to the light tapping of rain on your windowsill, and you thought that it sounded like tears. Like a million tears raining down from the heavens. The sun had set now, and in the deep and dark night maybe all of your dead friends were crying for you from up above. Herschel, Andrea, Shane, Lori, Dale, Beth, Abraham, Glenn… Maybe they were crying for you. Sasha had said that it wasn’t your time yet. Maybe that was true, maybe your time would come having the children. That could be your ultimate sacrifice. To give the children to the world, and pass away in the process. The same way that Lori had made her own ultimate sacrifice, and how she gave the world the best child you had ever met. Judith was that, afterall. One of the strongest little girls you could remember. You hoped that your children would be the same as she was. You set down your yarn and needles, done for the day. And you closed your eyes, listening to the rain as it hit the windowsill hard. 

There was the dripping sound, but another sound was beginning to drown out the raindrops. It sounded like a car engine. You sat up, and continued to listen for the noise. And suddenly, you realized that it wasn’t a car, but a motorcycle. You quickly walked to the front door, where Dr. Carson already stood with his gun. He looked slightly scared. It could be one of the Saviors, a few of them rode bikes. But it could also be Daryl, your friend. If it was Daryl what would that mean? Would that mean they won? You didn’t know.