Survivalist

Chapter 3

Notes:

I hope you guys like the flashbacks in this chapter! Tell me what you're thinking about this story!

Chapter Text

You hugged your knees to your chest. You don't know how long you've been in negans compound. The windowless room made it nearly impossible to tell time. You were constantly trying to sleep. Whenever you closed your eyes flashes of horrors raced inside of your head. Dwight had payed you a few visits, delivering more cloths, underwear, soap, shampoo, and food. You laughed at how little they trusted you, only giving you plastic cups and paper plates, as if you thought you could take down the whole compound with one shard of glass. Or maybe it was because they thought that you would try to slit your wrists. Without warning the door unlocked and swung open. Negan barged in, his boots clanking on the floor.
"Sweetheart, get dressed."
"Why?" You ask, sitting up.
"We're going to pay Rick a visit."

You say in the car with Negan, déjà vu flowing over. But this time instead of sitting in the back of a dark truck that began was driving you were next to him. You were wearing something that you guessed Negan picked out for you. It was a low cut black crop top and a pair of short Daisy Duke shorts. You felt almost like Rosita, except less confident in your appearance.
"just laying down the ground rules Y/N... you don't speak to them unless I tell you, hell you don't look at them unless I tell you. Understand?"
You nod your head and look out of the window.

You looked around the CDC, you still couldn't decide if you trusted doctor Jenner or not. After Merle disappeared you went to Atlanta with Rick, T dog, and Glenn, and Daryl to find him. When you realized Merle was no longer there you felt extremely nervous about your future with the group. Neither you are Daryl had talked since about your plans to steal from the group during the night.
You and Daryl hasn't really talked at all lately. You felt extremely isolated from everyone in the group. The CDC was extreemly intimidating to you. It felt so sterol and oddly haunting. When the doctor asked everyone to give their blood you felt terrified. You always hated getting blood drawn, thinking it would be easier to have a big gash than I needle piecing your skin. However, the price of blood for a place to stay and eat in was a good enough deal for you. After Andreas blood was drawn the doctor mentioned dinner. You smiled to yourself, as you hadn't eaten in days.
Wine was poured and luscious amounts of food were piled onto your plate. You began to eat like there was no tomorrow. Even though certain people hesitated when you poured yourself a drink Shane rolled his eyes.
"Girls gone through enough shit... I don't think that a glass of wine will make a difference.
You smiled a little at Shane before gulping down the wine. After dinner doctor Jenner gave you a tour. You stuck to yourself, avoiding Shane's piercing gaze. For some reason the man had been looking at you all night.
"If you shower don't use up the hot water."
You felt a smile come to your lips as you imagined a steamy shower. You walked into a reck room slowly. The room was simple, with only a couch and a lamp. There were a few books in the room and an empty dresser. You walked to the back of the room, finding a simple bathroom. It was almost like a bathroom in a hospital. There was only a towel in it, a sink with a small mirror, a toilet, and small shower. You turn the nob of the shower and heard the sound of water. As you stepped in you could see layers of dirt wash off your body. You felt the tension in your body relax. For the first time in forever you felt safe.

You approached the gates to Alexandria. The warm welcome of the gates opening sent back memories of when you used to be happy here. However now it was far from a happy place.
You set your eyes on Rosita as she opened the gate. Your friend was finally there, you could finally see her again. You drove in a little further and once the truck came far enough into the community it stopped.
"Wait here." Negan told you. He unbuckled his seatbelt and ran out to greet everyone. You looked around, trying to spot Rick. It felt like hours before you laid eyes on him. You scanned and finally saw him. Your heart was beating quickly in your chest. It took everything out of you not to run out of the car and kiss him. You wanted him to see you more than anything. You wanted him to hold you more than you wanted life itself.
"Hey Y/N" you heard Negan yell. You looked alert. You saw Negan walk up to the car and open the door for you. You exited and he put his long arm around you. The same arm was also holding Lucille which didn't bring you ease.
The two of you walked towards your group. You made eye contact with Rick. He smiled at you and you smiled back. The connection of your eyes and the connection between your relationship was so vivid. It seemed like this was negans worst torture yet, because there was so much you wanted to tell Rick, but you couldn't speak a word.
"Rick." Negan says.
"Yes?" Rick asks
"Would you be so kind as to hold Lucille for me? Take good care of her."
Rick nodded and too lucile from negans grasp.
"Y/N" Rick spoke quietly
"No!" Negan yelled.
"You do not speak to Y/N! She isn't your Rick! She is mine for now! And maybe some day you can talk to her but only when you do good!"
You shot Rick a sad and pleading look as negans hand went from around you neck to down your back, hitting your ass slowly.
When Negan asked about Maggie your eyes lit up. You needed to know she was okay. However, father Gabriel announced that maggie had passed away and your heart sank.
"Woah Y/N... are you okay?" Negan asked
You nearly fell to the ground, but negans grasp kept you standing. You let out a loud sob, tears flowing down your cheeks.
"Oh damn Y/N... were you two close?"
"Please Negan... I can help calm her down!" Rick pleaded
"No!" Yelled Negan.
You sobbed as you relived all the amazing moments you and maggie shared. You couldn't believe she died. Your heart ached for Rick... loosing Abe, Glenn, You, and Maggie on the same day.
"Oh baby I'm so sorry" Negan whispered in your ear.
"I didn't realize you two were close." He pulled you closer to his body
"Get the fuck off of me!" You yelled, lashing out to punch Negan.
He grabbed your hands by the wrists before you could punch him.
"Stop it Y/N" Negan yelled at you.
Tears leaked out of your eyes as you released the force and let him hold you by the wrist. You collapsed into his arms with gears streaming down your face.
It felt extremely wrong to be hugged by Negan, especially since you were in front of Rick and everyone else you loved.
"Shhhhh, doll. It's all gonna be okay."
He was holding you tight to his body, so tight that you couldn't escape his grasp. Your face was buried in his chest, the smell of the leather jacket lingering.
"You see Rick. I own your girl. I own her and there is nothing you can do about it."
"Can I please talk to her?" Asked Rick, his southern draw echoing in your ears.
"Nope." Negan answered.
"Please negan... I'll do anything. I just. I just need to talk to her! I need to make sure that she is okay." Rick pleaded. All you wanted was to see his face, to kiss him... to be held by him.
You were still being held tight by Negan.
You were nervous and still sad but you managed to let out a soft word.
"Please."
Negan stepped away from you
"What did you just say doll?"
"Please... just give us five minutes... I'll do whatever you want! Please!" You yelled
Negan stared straight at you. He had an angry smirk on his face.
"You'll do anything?" He asked
"Yes."
"Would You kiss me?"
You hesitated thinking of your options
"Listen doll, I ain't asking you to fuck me I front of everyone. Just a kiss."
You nod slowly
"No! Y/N you don't have to do this."
Rick said.
You wiper tears from your eyes and looked up at the taller man. His hands moved to your hair, pushing it away from your face. His strong hands moved down your waist and pulled himself towards you. As your lips collided. It was a short peck on the lips but enough to please Negan.
"Five minutes." He said, releasing you from his grasp. Without a word you ran to Rick, who held you tightly in his arms.
"I love you so much." He said
"I love you too."
"Are you okay, are they hurting you?" He asked, scanning your body for wounds.
"I'm fine Rick... really I'm fine."
"I've missed you."