Always and Forever

Always and Forever - Hunters POV

Chapter 41: Always and Forever

Today was the day.

No matter how hard I can ever try, this would be inevitable.

I had accepted it; leaving this world. Leaving this world freely with no one left behind me to grieve.

I had cut my connections. I had made sure I was alone.

I purposefully kept to myself. I made myself unapproachable. I went down a lane only few people go to ensure that I don't leave anyone behind when I'm gone.

It was working well, no one had come close and I couldn't trust many people apart from a few who would actually understand why I need to leave this world and wouldn't waste their tears on my departure.

But then I met her.

After meeting her I realised things would never be the same again. There would be someone now.

Someone to worry.

Someone to cry.

Someone to care.

I couldn't have that. It wasn't fair on her and she didn't need me in her life.

But I couldn't stay away.

I had broken the promise I made to myself. I promised I wouldn't let anyone get involved with me.

I broke that promise, replacing it with one of the opposite. To stay with her always and forever.

Today I would seemingly break that promise too. I would probably break her. But I pray that one day she finds her peace and finds it in her to forgive me, understanding my intentions.

I wasn't going to fight my death because this was the only way to free her of me. This was her chance to live the life she deserves... Without me.

No matter how much it hurts me to do this, to not fight and to leave her; knowing that she'd always be troubled and worried being with me was not the way I wanted her to live. Or to love.

You may think it's selfish and it would be, if I would be doing this for myself but I'm not. The only thing I ever think about is her. Her safety and her smile.

I'm nothing. I'm no one. Just trouble.

I'm not a good guy. No one can change me because I simply don't want to change and I won't. I'm a villain, not a hero.

No matter how much she can try to deny that fact that I'm not good for her, I know that I will ruin her and she doesn't need that.

She knows I've brought sadness and misery in others lives in the past but I can see in her eyes she doesn't think I'll ever do it again.

But it simply wasn't true. I know my death will put her through pain at first but she'll one day realise I'm not a good guy, I've never been a good person and that I do deserve this.

It kills me knowing one day I will be the cause of her pain and misery but for her to actually be happy and live her life I need to be out of her life.

I wanted no one to care when I'm gone. I didn't want anyone to cry over me because I'm just not worth their tears.

I had just arrived home. I knew they were coming but that didn't scare me because what scared me was the fact that she too was coming.

I could go through it alone easily but with her there the wall I've built will come crumbling down quicker than I'd prefer.

She can't see me like that.

I had my guys outside so that when this whole thing goes down they'd be there to keep an eye on her for me.

My phone rang as I entered the sitting room.

"Yeah?" I picked up.

"You don't have to go through with it man." Trey on the other line spoke calmly.

"No, I do and I will." I responded.

Trey sighed and was about to rebuttal.

"Listen," I cut him off, "I just want to sleep now, okay. Don't disturb me." I hung up and sat on the couch.

Throwing my shirt off, I went into the last peace I'd ever meet.

I slept.

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A/N - we will be revealing no more of the chapter in Hunters POV as we feel everything has been said and explained.

Hunter is sleeping now. He is at peace.