Insanity | A Marcus Butler Fan Fiction

Chapter 11

This week sucked. I went to my internship feeling guilty and I felt like Courtney told Dr. Lewis even though she promised not to.

She didn't, thank God, but it still was horrible. I missed the comfort of Marcus. I missed his voice. I missed his eyes, his smile. His mind, ideas, dreams. I missed everything about him.

He was an even bigger part of my life than I knew before. You don't realize how much you truly adore someone until they are out of your life potentially forever. He was so much more to me than just a guy. He was the guy. He was my guy.

And I love him.

~~~

Other than Marcus being out of my life, nothing big happened. I talked to patients, Dr. Lewis, Lindsay the receptionist. I isolated myself from everything honestly. I stayed in my hotel room if I wasn't in the office, reading or just sitting there. I hated this. Being alone I could handle. But this unfortunate feeling of knowing that I lost the one guy I am totally and completely in love with left me conflicted and more unhappy than I ever was before.

~~~

I'm leaving London in less than a week. All I hope is that this will all subside by then and I get over Marcus, because if I can't be with him ever, then why keep thinking about it?

I'm beginning to wrap up my sessions with my patients and I'm beginning to receive many job offers who would like to consider me. They are from all over the place. America as well as England and Ireland. Dr. Lewis was a fabulous mentor and she did give me an amazing review. I'm glad we crossed paths in my career. 

Since there's only a few days left here, Dr. Lewis decided to have a conversation with me. Not a usual, friendly one. But one more personal about my career and whatnot. Or at least that's what I assume. 

"Ali, you are one of the greatest interns I ever had the pleasure of meeting. Others have big shoes to fill," Dr. Lewis smiled.

I couldn't help but smile back. "Thank you, that really does mean so much. You were a great mentor to me."

"Thank you. But other than this, I would like to discuss something else with you today."

"That being?"

"You don't have to answer if you don't want to, but I have noticed that you have been a bit more distant lately."

I stayed silent.

She continued. "It didn't affect your work and you are still doing well, but you shouldn't do this. Keep your emotions bottled up, I mean."

I glanced at her.

"Is it about a relationship?" she asked.

I nodded yes.

"With a certain patient?"

I nodded again, slowly.

"Maybe one that left recently?"

At that point I looked directly into her eyes. I expected anger. Clearly Courtney told her. What a bitch. Why would she do this to me?

But all I saw in Dr. Lewis' eyes were trust and understanding. I was confused.

"I take your worrisome look as a yes," she said, smiling to comfort me. I smiled back faintly and blushed a bit. "So how long have you and Marcus been seeing each other?"

"Well we more so SAW each other. We aren't going out anymore."

"Why not?"

I looked at her with confusion. Why would I still be going out with Marcus? She knows the rules.