A Kiss on the Cheek (akotw trilogy)

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Author's Note fünfundfünfzig: 

OMG GUYS... we've reached Author's Note #55! do u hear me? there are two fünf's up there and everyone knows that is my favorite freakin word in the world. ahhh....
fünffünffünffünf... seriously, there just isn't a more perfect word out there than fünf.
& if u disagree... well... then u can just get the fünf out of my lifE.
[laughs for turdy seven leap years]

ok... moving on...

This story... that you have managed to stumble upon is the sequel to A Kiss on the Wrist.
So, if you have yet to read the first story in the trilogy, then please proceed to my profile so that you can find it c:
Or type in the search code 8650401 on your wattpad app <3

Check out the trailer in the media section made by @mixerxbaby <3 it's for #akotw but I think it's wonderful :)
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This is a little snippet of what you have to look forward to later in the story...

 

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"What happened,?" he asked, nothing but concern in his tone as he still held me tightly against him; he brought the sheet up, wrapping it around my shoulders, covering me so I wasn't so exposed. Our moment of passion long forgotten as he securely held me against him, rubbing soothing circles along my the knuckles of the hand that was still wrapped around mine.

"I don't really know... one second I was looking up at you, and the next I kept getting flashes of Ryder as he... you know..." I trailed off, my voice sounding broken and ashamed; Niall laid us down pulling the duvet up so that we were covered as he hugged me tightly, "and I couldn't tell if that was a nightmare, or this was a dream..." I added sadly, covering my face with my hands just so I wouldn't have to see that heartbroken stare Niall was giving me.

He looked so sad, like he'd been the one to do something wrong, that it literally was ripping what was left of my soul to shreds. Niall slowly pulled my hands down, tilting my chin up to look him right in the eye as he recomposed his face, softening his features, trying to mask his horror and disappointment, "I'm so sorry, did I do some-- was I bein' too rough? Did I-- did I hurt y--?" he kept frantically trying to ask a question that I didn't know the answer to. I didn't know what happened, but it had scared me so badly, I could still feel my heart racing.

I took a second to catch my breath before placing my hand against his cheek, "I'm sorry Niall... you did nothing... it was me... I-- I don't know what's wrong with me," I whimpered, trying to stop my eyes from watering.

"Y- ye' thought I was him?" he asked, his voice so small and unsure that I couldn't take it. I just couldn't. So I did the only thing I could do... I ran.

"I'm sorry," I cried, untangling myself from his arms and rolling off of the bed, bringing the sheet up around me as he rolled over on the opposite side. I could see him hurry to get his boxers back on as I dashed over toward the bathroom that was thankfully connected to our room.

"No, Chan... wait!" he yelled after me, causing me to cry harder as I slipped into the bathroom, quickly closing the door behind me.

I tried not to look, but my eyes betrayed me as I searched his face, feeling the knife twist in my heart as his broken and terrified eyes met mine right as I slammed the door in his face.

Oh God, what is wrong with me? How could I ever think that Niall was that scum?

I slid down against the door, choking as I tried to keep my crying under control while he pounded on the, begging me to open it.

"Channing, it's fine! Yer still recoverin'-- we shoulda waited longer, baby, please, open the door!" he whispered, desperation laced in his words, but his hands were knocking more gently on the door.

I sniffled a few times as I buried my face in the white sheet, trying to calm myself down; but it was hard when I could hear Niall still trying to talk to me through the door. Every time I heard his voice, I just saw that look of utter disbelief he gave me right after I'd told him what happened. I wasn't mad at him, I was mad at myself. Hearing that I'd thought he was Ryder was probably like a smack in the face; I got to my feet, turning on the shower, trying to drown out his pleading voice for a few seconds so that I could clear my mind.

Steam began to fog the mirror as I dropped the sheet and stared back at my unappealing reflection: my face was pale and gaunt, while the rest of my body was just littered in marks and bruises. How Niall claimed to love me, I'll never understand. The boy must be blind. Maybe this was my punishment for taking him away from the more deserving girls of the world, surely there were other girls who deserved him much more than I did.

I squeezed my eyes shut for a few seconds before slowly turning around, and although I tried to prepare myself for what I was about to see, I still released a startled gasp as I turned my shoulder slightly to reveal the horrendous scars that decorated my once smooth back.

As I reached behind me to touch one of the marks, I was suddenly terrified as a flash of memory barreled it's way into my thoughts, and I swear I could feel him hitting me with the belt buckle once again. Oh my God... what was happening to me?

I threw myself against the wall, trying to clear the horrid memory before crawling into the shower stall and huddling in the corner. As the stinging water beat down on my back, I buried my face into my knees sobbing at the strange turn of events: Niall was finally going to take me away from this hell... to a place where I... where we could be happy... but even though I was physically saved, my mind still seemed to be held captive in that tiny bedroom, shuddering in fear, shattering my trust in not only the people around me, but everyone. Niall was helping to rebuild that trust and I just took 5,000 steps back from any progress we were making.

I swallowed harshly, knowing there was only one way I was going to get relief and gain control over my mind again; I reached out of the shower, grabbing my makeup bag from the sink; with shaky fingers, I unzipped it, spilling out the contents and scattering them all over the floor. I sifted through the mess until I spotted what I was looking for, my eyeliner pencil sharpener. Without a second thought, I grasped it firmly in my fingers, hitting it multiple time against the porcelain sink until I felt the cheap plastic that housed the blade begin to crack from the pressure.

My fingers were slippery, but after a few tries, I got a firm grip on the tiny hidden blade, before pulling it back into the shower. I sat in hesitation, holding the blade at first over my thighs but then changing to hold it over my wrist, the same wrist that Jeff had recently carved a huge scar into. Flashes of both Jeff and Ryder were making it hard for me to catch my breath, and all I wanted was for it to stop. I didn't want to remember them. I didn't want to kill Niall by making him think he reminded me of them.

"Channing, I will kick this God damn door down again if yeh don't fuckin' open it!" Niall screamed, his obvious anger startling me enough to where I jumped, watching as the blade slit across my lower forearm. Although the cut wasn't large, the relief I felt as the first drops of warm crimson hit the shower floor was immediate... and with every cut, came a new numbness from the nightmares replaying over and over again in my head. I felt disgusting, ashamed, and like I was betraying Niall... but it was the only thing I knew, the only thing I was good at-- destroying things... particularly myself.

You can take the blade away from the girl, but you can't take the girl away from the blade.

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Author's Note sechsundfünfzig:

Plenty of fun to come... thanks so much for continuing this story guys!

btW... just a reminder/warning/announcement:
-be prepared to open your heart and soul to the chaos that is Larrietta.
-it's not just a side story anymore.
-so... no bitchin allowed!
-as u proceed forward, u will see that i'm doing a dual focus on both Chialler and Larrietta
-learn to luff it <3

<3 Mandy