A Kiss on the Cheek (akotw trilogy)

How To Shave Your Tarantula |22|

(long) Author's Note neunundneunzig (sorry...):

Guys... I really have no excuse for this update having taken so long other than i'm a gigantic buttmunch... :( so for that... I apologize... and let me just say that the reason i'm such a bad updater is because I originally joined wattpad to be a READER. I love READING stories... so sometimes it's hard to get back into my own story, ya know? Especially on Archive of Our Own... holy shit everything on that site is effing top notch. just sayin <3 WARNING though... if you don't like boyxboy DON'T EVEN BOTHER WITH AO3 lmao

Reminder: I just want you guys to know, that I have every intention of continuing/finishing this story/series... but the thing is, the characters are SO real to me, that I feel like one wrong move or action could ruin everything I've created... which really overwhelms me. I think I've made it perfectly clear that I'm going to continue doing WHAT I want to do regardless, but, your feedback really does affect me (and not always in positive ways) with that being said, I'd just like to thank every single one of you who have ever encouraged me. I seriously love you. I'm sorry that I'm so bad at updating these days. The funny thing? I wrote akotw in about three months, yet come January I'll have been working on akotc for nearly a year! Just bear with me. Sometimes I'm awesome at updating and sometimes I just suck (the latter is usually the case, i know lmao) but if u love the characters as much as i do, just relax and reread a few chapters back to get back in the swing of things when i finally do update!)

Check out the media section to see a picture of Channing... just picture her with red high heels :)

~P.S for those of you buttheads who don't remember.... Tate is like that weird guy that used to be in a band with her who was always trying to sexually harass her. Once this chapter is finished... you'll understand why he was always messing with her like that.


ALSO... remember that "Ryder" is originally "Officer Ryder"-- as in Ryder is his last name.

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Chapter 22: How To Shave Your Pet Tarantula

|| c h a n n i n g ||

Jetta, Perrie, and I took our time primping since we figured the boys were in no hurry to end their 'who tops' debate, considering how heated it had been getting when we left the apartment. As I took a seat at Perrie's vanity table, I half heartedly studied my face in the mirror; we'd decided to get ready at Perrie's place, which was really a no-brainer since her closet had more choices than mine and Jetta's combined- hell, she was an international pop star... which was something I always seemed to forget considering how down to earth she was.

"What about this?" Jet asked, standing tall in front of a full length mirror as she held a red leather mini skirt up against her thighs; she sighed however as she peeked at the tag on the inside, "Shit... never mind. There's no way these buns are squeezing into a size four," she pouted lightly, flinging the offending material onto the pile of discarded clothing which were overtaking Perrie and Zayn's bed.

I rolled my eyes, "You should wear this halter with that black skirt of yours... I think it's in my closet actually," I voiced quietly as I tried to remember the last place I'd seen it.

Jetta reached forward, pulling the sheer halter I'd been referring to away from the hanger and held it up against her chest, "You'll have to wear a black bra," Perrie called out from inside the closet where she was throwing out random shoes for our inspection.

Jet's face lit up slightly as she smirked at her reflection, "Well that's slutty enough for me," she announced with a laugh as she pulled the top over her head before shaking her blonde locks about to free them from under the material.

I nodded as I absentmindedly picked at a hole in my jeans, unintentionally fraying the edges even more. I was still wearing one of Niall's old soccer tee shirts and my worn out jeans, just wishing the girls would hurry so we could leave, but Jet seemed to have other ideas.

I groaned loudly when I felt Jetta throwing girly clothes and accessories and shit my way, attempting to convince me to 'dress nicely' because 'Niall would come untouched just by looking at me.'

After rolling my eyes and telling Jetta she was 'nasty' in my best That's So Raven voice, I took a second to glance at my reflection once more in the little mirror. I was so plain... always so plain. How Niall even noticed me when I was surrounded by stunners like Jet and Perrie was a freaking miracle. For some reason, I wanted to try something different... for one night, I wanted to look like someone who was good enough for Niall. Someone who deserved him.

"Hey Jet... for tonight... just go nuts. Make me pretty like you," I whined playfully, turning around to pout out my bottom lip.

"Oh my God... I thought this day would never come," Jetta whispered dramatically while she held her hand to her heart in a mocking show of astonishment.

"Per! Man your battle station! This might take a while!" Jetta screamed out, running into the closet, squealing at the prospect of getting to play dress up with a real life Barbie doll, aka me.

I sat silently, playing around with my phone as I heard soft murmuring traveling out of the closet; Jetta and Perrie were obviously trying to decide on my outfit. Hopefully they'd spare and actually let me wear flats tonight.

"No her boobs aren't big enough to fill this top out," Jetta said matter-o-factly, causing me to roll my eyes and continue mindlessly typing away at my phone.

"Sorry we can't all be blessed with double D's!" I mumbled under my breath as I smiled down at my screen.

To: Nilla
Nvm we're probably gonna be like another hour...

To:Olive
WHAAAAT NOOO WHYYY

To: Nilla
We've decided to actually make me look like a girl tonight. Oops. I think that was supposed to be a surprise. Don't tell Jetta you got a heads up. Pretend I look really pretty!

To: Olive
You always look like a girl. The prettiest girl ! Please don't make ur eyelashes look like spider legs...

To Nilla:
But spiders are rad

To Olive:
No spiders are scary !

To Nilla:
Let's get a pet tarantula

To Olive:
ew but they're like... hairy

To Nilla:
we'll shave it

To Olive:
'how to shave your tarantula' a guide by Channing Darly, in stores now !

To Nilla:
omg yes, you know it'd be a best seller. there is no doubt. spider shaving is the new trend.

To Olive:
i dono pretty sure that's illegal in like turdy seven countries

To Nilla:
spider shaving is illegal? Damn guess I need to find a new hobby. P.s did u seriously type out turdy seven? NIALL. Stop trying to make me fangirl. u know what that does 2 me.

To Olive:
both u and jet have made me well aware of the significance between the number 37 and directioners... which I find quite amusing

"Quit discussing illegal spider shaving with Niall and pay attention!" Jet whispered from over my shoulder, nearly making me fall out of my chair since she'd managed to creep up so quietly behind me.

Jetta grabbed me by my shoulders and hoisted me up to my feet, ripping my tee shirt over my head with no warning as I let out an exasperated whine, "Sheesh, if you wanted me naked, all you had to do was ask," I teased before sticking out my tongue and attempting to cross my arms over my newly exposed bra.

Jetta gave me a playful glare before her eyes trailed down to my chest, or rather, lack there of, "Maybe Perrie has a push-up you can use," she murmured, clicking her tongue in disapproval as she began groping me over my bra in an attempt to push my boobs together and create some cleavage. At times, I worried that the boundaries of our friendship were blurring... and this happened to be one of those times.

I snorted as Jet gave me an amused look and hurried away once more, leaving me alone with my phone and my thoughts. I immediately decided that Niall should be informed of my somewhat violated progress;

To Nilla: jet's complaining about my small boobs and won't stop groping me heLp

To Olive: you're boobs are perfect but sorry I'm afraid I wouldn't be of much help... I'd probably just assist her in the groping

To Nilla: ur both a couple of horny bastards... by the way, lets name our pet tarantula Polka Dot :)

To Olive: what is your fascination with spiders tonight ! have u girls already started on the cocktails?

To Olive: oh & Harry suggests to grab her boobs back... fight fire with fire. Or in this case, titties with titties. THOSE WERE HIS WORDS NOT MINE !!

I was nearly gasping for air when I noticed Jetta had returned, but before I could reply to Niall and his shitty suggestions of having something akin to a titty war, I felt Jet's strong fingers digging into my arm as she dragged me away into Perrie's closet, or as I liked to call it, into the torturous depths of Hell.