Unstoppable (Lauren Cimorelli x You)

Tense

Lauren's POV

How is it that everything can change in a moment? In one single moment, every piece of self, security, and joy can be ripped from your mind. But then someone can come in and give you that all back, little by little. The pain was excruciating, or at least the worst physical pain I've ever felt. At times, I'm reminded of it. I become paralyzed in fear, then I get angry. But I don't know how to handle anger well. I take it out on the ones that don't deserve it, the ones that truly care. The one that came to my rescue, time and time again. The hangover from last night doesn't help. She didn't do anything wrong. Why did I snap at her? I think I'm going crazy, overwhelmed with support but still feeling hopeless. Why does she even care to stay with me? I just ruined everything we shared last night. How come --

"Lauren? Are you ready?" Y/N asks softly from the bedroom door. I close my journal, leaving my entry unfinished, and place it into my carry-on. Looking around the hotel room one last time to make sure we have everything before I follow her out. She glances back at me as she hits the elevator button. I can see the sadness and worry written across her face but she stays silent all the way down to the car waiting for us. 

The ride to the airport stays in the tense silence. All I want right now is for her to wrap her arms around me, comfort me. But she doesn't seem to want to, staring out the window to avoid looking over at me. I'm being selfish. She has every right to be mad at me. I ruined everything good memory we shared yesterday. I didn't even realize we had arrived at the airport until my door opens, Dani playfully pouting at me from the sidewalk. "Are you ok?" Dani's face drops when she sees my own. "I fucked up," I sigh, sinking farther in my seat when I notice Y/N is no longer beside me. "I mess everything up."

Dani pulls me out of the car, walking me to a bench nearby but far enough we can talk freely. I notice Christina and Y/N talking as they unload our car. Y/N catches me looking, before quickly turning back to Christina, her head hanging low. "What happened?" Dani asks, grabbing my hand to get my attention. "I said some things... I didn't mean it but... I don't know." I turn fully to Dani, hoping no one else can see the tears forming in my eyes. "What did you say?" She asks softly. "I said a lot, but the worst was I told her I didn't love her..." I look down at my lap in shame. "Well that was dumb, but I'm sure she knows that's a lie." Dani almost glares but hides her own feelings to take care of me. "What made you upset?"

"It's so stupid. I'm stupid." I groan, thinking back to it. "I got up to shower. When I came out she was running around the room, dancing and singing. But my head was pounding from drinking last night... and lack of sleep." I glance at Dani, hinting as to why we didn't get much sleep. "Dan, all she did was try and get me to dance with her. She wrapped her arm around my waist and I panicked. How did she have so much energy when I felt completely drained? I shouted at her to stop, to leave me alone. And she did, she stopped dancing and asked me if I was ok. And I just snapped. I had no reason to but I did." I cry, Dani, pulling me into a hug. I feel an arm slowly hold me from behind. "Dan, can I talk to Lauren a minute?" Christina asks quietly. Dani gives me another squeeze before walking back to the others.

"Just breathe, Laur," Christina whispers in my ear. I take a few deep breathes before wiping away my tears. "Is she mad?" I ask, my voice starting to go hoarse. "No. She is worried. She doesn't understand what happened. She said everything was great last night but something changed this morning. What do you think triggered you?" Christina asks back. "I don't know. It doesn't make sense for me either. Chris, what do I do?" I beg. "Go say you're sorry," Christina answers simply. "It's not that easy." I cringe at the thought of everything I said. "Yes, it is Laur. At least with her. But we still need to work on you and find out what happened so this doesn't happen again." Christina nudges me in the direction of Y/N. 

She is staring at her phone away from everyone else, not noticing I'm walking slowly up to her. "Y/N?" I choke out and she looks up at me. "I didn't mean any of it... I'm so sorry." My lip trembles as I look into her clouded eyes. "It's ok," Y/N says reassuringly. I pull her into a gentle hug, relaxing as I feel her kiss my cheek softly. "No, it isn't. I don't know why I got so upset with you. I said all those hurtful things. You should hate me." I whisper into her neck. "I will never hate you," Y/N says just as Lisa walks up. "We need to get through security. It's time to say bye to Dani and Emmyn." 

I sigh, pulling away from Y/N. She kisses my forehead one more time before letting me go. After the long goodbyes, we finally sit outside our terminal waiting to go home. Y/N walks over to me, handing me a coffee and a donut. "Thank you," I say, still feeling uneasy around her. Scared I'm going to mess this up more. She just nods, sipping her own coffee as she wraps an arm over my shoulder. I melt into her touch, even though I feel like I don't deserve it. "You're stuck with me." Y/N whispers in my ear. I smile, remembering how she said the same thing last night. "I hate myself for all that I said. I do love you and I don't want you to leave." I whisper back. "I know. And even as you said it, I could tell you didn't mean it. You were scared." She says back softly.  I sit quietly, leaning into her embrace as I eat my donut. I nearly choke on my bite as I think back to everything that was going on, trying to figure out what initiated my rage. My coughing has Y/N looking at me in concern, patting my back. "It was the song you were singing. I was watching you dance to it before I walked away towards to bathroom that night." I gasp out, taking the bottle of water Christina hands me. "So there is your trigger," Christina says as I hand it back to her after taking a few sips to ease the discomfort. 

"I guess I'll just never sing again," Y/N says dramatically, always one to try and lighten the mood. "Oh, shut up! It wasn't your fault. Besides, I love when you sing." I smack her playfully. Her joking face turns serious as she pulls my hand into her lap. "And it wasn't your fault either." She says sternly, kissing my fingers that are now intertwined with hers. "She's right. Now that you know what got you upset, you can find a way to work on it." Christina raises her eyebrows knowingly.