PAP35
"Our company is planning to send employees to Korea for training..."
Saglit niya akong sinulyapan bago niya binalik ang tingin niya sa laptop niya at patuloy na nag-type. He looks calm even after hearing it so I relaxed a bit more.
"Really? Are you interested?"
Nagulat ako sa diretsong tanong niya. I didn't expect him to say that. Akala ko ay mahihirapan akong sabihin sa kanya ang punto ko.
"Ahm... mukha ba?
Matapos ang ilan pang tipa sa laptop niya ay binigay niya na saakin ang buo niyang atensyon.
"I don't think you'll open up about it if you're not interested," he said, looking straight into my eyes.
Napalunok ako. Nagpeke ako ng ubo at inilagay sa likod ng tenga ko ang ilang buhok kong nakaharang sa mukha ko. "I was actually offered to be part of it..." mahina kong bigkas. Hindi ko inalis ang mga mata ko sa kanya. I am afraid of his reaction but at the same time, I am also afraid that I might miss something if I look away.
He nodded, still looking serious but calm. Bigla ko tuloy naisip kung tama ba itong timing ko. Kasi naman, mukhang madami pa siyang tatapusin ngayon. Pero kasi, eto na ako eh. I've done a lot of thinking and I have already decided. I think I need to release it already to be able to sleep peacefully.
"Tinanggap mo?"
Umiling ako. "Hindi pa... pinag-iisipan ko pa."
"And what do you think so far?"
Tumahimik ako ng ilang segundo. His eyes are all on me like he's trying to get an answer just by staring at my face.
"You want it?" tanong niya ulit kahit hindi pa ako nakakasagot. Am I really that readable for him?
"The offer was nice..." I said. "Hindi ko nga alam kung bakit ako ang napili at nagulat din ako. Pero maganda... we've been oriented about it."
"Of course that's because of your skills. My wife is the best," mayabang niyang sabi na parang sarili niya ang pinagmamayabang.
Napatawa ako. Hindi ko inaasahan na ganito kakalmado ang magiging pag-uusap namin. Still, nakahinga ako ng maluwag.
"Ano sa tingin mo? Tatanggapin ko ba?"
"If you want it, then go for it," he encouraged me like what he always does.
I didn't expect for this to be easy. Gusto ko siyang maayos na makausap ngunit sa hindi ganitong paraan. Hindi ko tuloy alam kung anong mararamdaman ko dahil sa paraan ng daloy ng pag-uusap naming dalawa. I want to tell him how unsure I am. Na kahit gusto kong tanggapin ay ayokong umalis at iwan siya.
"Seryoso?"
"Hmm... how long was it? A week? Two?"
Kumabog ang puso ko. I was baffled with his question, but I dare not to show it. I gasped silently. Mali yata ang ideya niya sa kung anong training ang tinutukoy ko. Akala niya siguro ay iyong mga conference lang at saglitan lang.
"No, Cell. Hindi ganon. We have to work there... isang taon hanggang tatlong taon daw..."
Naging blangko ang mata niya habang nakatingin pa rin saakin. He looks lost of thoughts and words. Iniwas niya ang tingin niya saakin pagkatapos ng ilang segundo habang naglalaro ang kanyang dila sa loob ng bibig. It was obvious on his cheeks. He leaned over the table and place both of his arms in it.
"Work, you say?" ulit niyang tanong.
"Yes..." I confirmed. Halos pabulong iyon dahil kinakabahan na ako. Bigla kasing bumigat ang hangin sa paligid namin. He also doesn't look good at all in instant.
