Perspective

Chapter Seventy Six.

"I can't keep quiet."

Song: Quiet (stripped) - MILCK

Warning: Mention of suicide.

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Walking through my front door had my heart beating out of my chest.

I'd barely said a word on the way to my house, and that awful pit in my stomach was making me feel nauseous.

Harry was staying close to me as we walked up to my door, and instead of his presence being comforting it was only adding to my anxiety.

I didn't know what I'd be walking into on the other side but I knew it wouldn't be anything good.

It's the part of my life I'd wanted to shield Harry from, that I'd always tried so hard to hide from everyone and keep to myself.

My hand was shaking again when I turned the door knob, and I jumped slightly when I heard Harry yell out hello to Mrs. Fullerton, who I noticed was out watering her flowers again.

Noticing me flinching, Harry placed his hand on my lower back but the touch had me flinching again before I opened the door.

When I walked inside, with Harry and Gizmo following behind me; I saw my sister standing in the kitchen and my mother sitting on her walker next to her.

My sister was pissed, but as soon as she noticed I hadn't walked in alone you could see her swallow down wanting to snap at me.

Instead, she opted for passive aggressiveness laced in a polite tone.

"Is your phone broken? I've been trying to call you."

There's no acknowledgement or hello to Harry, and my mother is staring at both of us; before shifting on her walker and making pained sounds.

Not even three seconds in, and she's started with the guilting.

I suppose to anyone observing, it'd be barely noticeable, but I notice it. Her doing that is a silent way of saying she's in pain from sitting there waiting for me.

You could say I'm reading too much into it, but she's made sure since I was born I was fluent in reading words in invisible ink only meant for me — that only I could see.

That no one would believe me if I told them, because they were only shown to me.

"I didn't hear my phone," is the only response I give her, folding my arms under my chest.

It's like I'm physically trying to shield myself from the thick tension and discomfort I feel.

The simmering of venomous words I can feel wishing they could burst out of both my sister and mother, but because we have company are fizzled into a silence with a knife's edge.

My lack of apology has my sister's eyes narrowing, and she gives me a once over with her eyes lingering on my neck before looking at my face.

"It was my fault actually," Harry interjects, which makes my stomach plummet, "I took Drew and Gizmo for a ride on my motorbike, she couldn't hear it over the engine."

Please be quiet.

That's all I can think to myself as he speaks. The anxiety and fear that floods my body is making it hard to stand still.

"I'm Harry by the way, and you're Drew's sister?" He continues, sounding nothing but polite and my jaw is clenching trying to ease the tension in my body.