Eclipse: Welcome to dating advice with Eclipse! Jaune what's your question?
Jaune: How do you tell if a girl likes you?
Eclipse: She doesn't!😃
________
Blake: Hey how old are you?
Eclipse: Uhh- It's 20?? Right?
Weiss: Yes?
Eclipse: Ye ok hold on *proceeds to use the calculator on her Scroll*
Blake & Weiss: *confused stares*
Eclipse: 18
Weiss: ...did you just have to calculate your own age?
Eclipse: Well I didn't think I'd make it this far!
________
Eclipse, on pain killers because she did something stupid: How come when I take a sip of the alcohol people call me the alcoholic but when I chug a whole bottle of Fanta nobody ever calls me fantastic?
*cue Weiss rolling her eyes, Blake questioning Eclipse's sanity, Yang laughing her ass off, and Ruby actually trying to come up with an answer*
________
Yang and Eclipse in a (verbal) fight because why not
Yang: How's the girlfriend?
Eclipse, genuinely confused: I don't have a girlfriend..?
Yang, smirking: I know just reminding you
Eclipse, smirks back: ...How's your mom?
...
Ruby: And that's how they ended up in the hospital wing
Team JNPR: 😦
________
Ruby: *excited gasp* Guys! I found the picture of you from the news
Blake: What picture *after looking at it* You two helped catch a serial killer?
Eclipse: Sort of.. We were more so bait than anything
Blake, raising a brow: What happened?
Yang: Well...
About a year ago
Eclipse, blindfolded with her hands tied: I love this right off the bat
Yang, in the same state: What do you love about it?
Eclipse: Well I love- I'll tell you what. I love it when serial killers have a fun little thing! I don't approve of serial killers but I think if you're gonna kill a bunch of people, you might as well have some fun with it
Yang: I feel like you have baseball cards of this guy
Eclipse: I absolutely do not. They don't make serial killer baseball cards though do they?
Yang: If they did you'd probably own the-
Eclipse: You would own them
*incoherent arguing*
Eclipse: You'd be like "I'll trade you a ____ for a-" *both laughing* "I'll trade you a ____ for a Zodiac"
Back to the Present
Yang: ...then Qrow showed up
Eclipse: That was fun
Yang: Yeah.. Did you ever find the cards you were looking for?
Eclipse: Nah. I'm pretty sure I'd have to make 'em
________
A legitimate conversation that Weiss, Ruby, and Blake walked in on
Yang: The issue-
Eclipse: NO! Weiss Schnee, Coco Adel, and Pyrra Nikos exist on different plains! They're all gorgeous. All of them, but they exist for different purposes!
*confused RWB stares*
Eclipse: You would- You would never take Weiss home to Tai. But you know who you would? You would take Pyrra home. You would.
Yang: Pyrra- I- they're very average. They're not hot enough to be celebrities.
Eclipse, takes an unimpressed sip of her Red Bull: You know who you would take to make all your friends jealous? You would take Coco. Pyrra would never work in that situation.
Yang, thinks about it for a sec: That's fair
Eclipse: But guess who's gonna take you to Mistral for a nice Valentine's Day getaway?
Yang: I-
Eclipse: Weiss Schnee.
Yang: Then what's Coco good for?
Eclipse: Making your friends jealous
...
Blake: do we want to know what's going on here?
Eclipse: Oh just Yang being completely INCORRECT nothing else
Blake: Okay?
________
Weiss: *gently taps the table*
Eclipse: *taps back*
Ruby, confused: What are they doing??
Blake with a small smile: Morse code
Eclipse: *taps again*
Weiss slams her fist on the table: Say something like that again and I'll throw your coffee in the garbage
________
Life Lessons with Eclipse
Today we find her in the team RWBEY dorm, giving advice that no one asked for but might be helpful later (but probably not)
Eclipse: If a boy ever spreads a rumor that you slept with him, don't deny it.
Weiss: Why shoul-
Eclipse, smirking evilly: Why? Well, one: there's always going to be people who believe that it's true. And two: because that dumbass boy just gave you the ability to say whatever you want about how he is in bed and everybody will believe it
Blake: Do you just wake up with these ideas?
Eclipse, very proud of herself: Sometimes
YOU ARE READING
The Grimm Huntress
FanfictionWhile Ozpin fought against Salem, immortal and using other people as his tools, the brother gods watched disgusted. One of them decided to give his powers to a child. A child he was sure would be different than Ozpin even after learning the truth. A...
