In Another Lifetime ➳ Choi Beomgyu [END]

0:09

that same night, beomgyu and y/n laid down on the ground again but this time with their arms beneath their heads as pillows to watch the stars.

its been a slight bit awkward since y/n's boldness ealier but nonetheless, they still enjoy each other company. Comfortably laying beside each other while silence fell in between.

" y/n." beomgyu calls, breaking the silence but his eyes still glued to the dark sky. the girl only respond with a small hum.

" why did you..like me?" he unexpectedly throw that question, catching y/n a bit off guard.

she chuckles, "i've always liked you ever since i first saw you in highschool." her cheeks tinted red as she reminiscing the moment when she first see the guy in the class, staring at the window.

" i thought it was just a mere crush at first, that it will gone sooner. but apparently i was wrong, because as time passed, the feelings only grew bigger beomgyu." she adds.

beomgyu turns his side to the left, staring at the girl's side profile. Oddly enough, he feels something that he never feels before. He couldn't pin point what is it but it feels nice.
" why you never try move on?"

y/n only laughs but it sounds so angelic to the point that beomgyu wouldn't mind listening to it everyday. To the point that beomgyu would do anything to hear it again.

" i tried. but its so hard you know." she sadly chuckles.

" also, i'm sorry i didn't mean...didn't mean to ruin your relationship with hana at all. i..i swear i told mom and dad about my feeling just because i want to let it out but i dont know that they will...you know arranged a marriage for us. i'm sorry." she adds, bitting her lower lips anxiously.

beomgyu only huffed and its so weird that he wasn't mad at all knowing how much he hates y/n.
" its fine..i guess?" he chuckled.

y/n pursued her lips into a thin line, " you should talk to hana." she said out of nowhere.

that catches beomgyu's attention immediately. he looks at her with furrowed eyebrows. "huh?"

" no..i mean- you fight with her right? that must be because this deal. i'm sorry you should...talk to her and fix everything back." and although y/n feels like her heart shatter into pieces by her own words, she forced a convincing smile on her face.

" you think so? should i talk to her?"

" yes, both of you deserve to be happy too."

beomgyu keep himself silent. what's with this unfamiliar feelings? why does he feels something that even he dont know what is it? why does he feels so warm inside that his heart starts to pick up it pace?

" what about you?" beomgyu asks, staring deep into her dark orbs that hole the whole universe inside. Its so...pretty.

" what about me?" she obliviously questioned back.

" you deserve to be happy too. with someone that truly deserve you. not me though, i definitely dont deserve you at all." beomgyu said, this time sincerely from the bottom if his heart.

" why would you think that?" she turns to the side, her eyes meet beomgyu's brown one.

" you're very kind, a sweetheart indeed. You deserve someone that can take a very good care of you." he mutters, sadly chuckle at the end of the sentences.

is that a dissapointment? is that a dissapoiment that beomgyu feels when he realized he wasn't someone that can take a good care of y/n? that he don't and will never deserve her? for the hundreds times this night, beomgyu found himself questions the same thing;

What's this feelings again?

" i hope you're happy, y/n. i'm sorry that i wasn't the one who can do that for you. i'm sorry that i'm a terrible husband. you deserve someone better, i hope." he adds, and y/n swears she can feels her eyes getting teary.

he sounds so sincere, his voice's so fragile and soft. y/n only fell more. deeper and deeper, to the point she don't want to let him go.

if theres any wish that can be fulfilled, y/n wants to wish for a neverending life with beomgyu. she wants to stay beside him forever, wants to be the reasons he laughs and y/n wants to be the first person he'll see every morning he wakes up and every night before he goes to sleep.

y/n wants him to stay, is it too selfish to ask?

" beomgyu, you should be happy with someone that you truly love too eventhough that someone wasn't me."

beomgyu feels how his stomach twist, and his heart's clutching so much that he don't know why that words hurt him somehow.
" you're so...cruel to yourself." he unconciously said that.

y/n slightly widened her eyes, her lips quiver. " what?"

" why did you..hurt yourself? I know you're not happy stop lying to yourself"

a single tears escapes the moment she blinks her eyes. " beomgyu.."

" you keep telling everyone around you to be happy but what about you? are you happy?" he slightly raised his voice.

y/n gritted her teeth, bitting the inside of her cheeks as she tries her best to not shade anotherr tears. " i can't force you if you dont love me, beomgyu. i already accept this anyway—

—and maybe, just maybe, we're  not meant to be each other happy ending."