The Wolf

Ch 64: Weight Lifted

~Nico~

Alex and I lay together in the thick grass in the valley. Our clothes had long since dried from our dip into the lake. We watched stars bloom against the black velvet night, our fingers intertwining. Everything felt so surreal that I wondered if it was all a dream.

I turned my head to the side and stared at Alex's face. Mine. I rolled that word over in my head a few times. Although a bit clunky and foreign, it felt right. It felt great. A smile curled the corners of my lips as I traced my eyes over his brow, nose, and lips. Mine.

Alex glanced down at me, noticing that I'd been staring. He smiled and pecked me on the lips. His blue eyes looked almost black in the dark night, allowing me to see my reflection in them. The image was so foreign that my breath hitched. Full, rosy cheeks and a goofy smile.

The Nico in Alex's eyes looked... happy.

Am I happy?

We've defeated Nyx. Dom is alive. My parents are alive. My sister is well. I've been readmitted to the pack. And I'm finally together with Alex. But I haven't seen my parents yet. And I haven't told Alex anything about my past yet.

Every time I thought about telling him about my past I froze up. What if, after he knows everything that I've done, he hates me? Or thinks that I'm... disgusting? I didn't think I would be able to bear that look on his face. I didn't think I could bear being apart from him now that I've tasted what it's like to have him. It would've crushed me.

"Nico?" Alex interrupted my thoughts, running a hand down my cheek to catch my attention.

I snapped out of it, returning my focus to the present. Taking some deep breaths, I calmed the roiling thoughts in my head.

Nico, Alex is our mate now. He will be understanding, Noct said soothingly.

That's right. He is our mate. I looked into Alex's eyes, my brows scrunched as I try to find any hint of hate in them, but was unable to. All I saw was unconditional love. My shoulders slumped. I snuggled into Alex's arms, prepping myself.

If I didn't take the first step opening up, then I'd forever put this talk off. By then, it would've become too difficult to say anything and it would be too late. Alex squeezed me tightly, making me feel warm and protected.

"Alex," I started, a lump in my throat, "I want to tell you some things."

My hand tightened around Alex's. I hid my face in his chest. The things that I had to tell him were all lodged in my throat. I would have preferred to run away and bury those secrets forever, but the guilt would be overwhelming and I would never truly forget what has happened.

"I'm listening," Alex said. His hands rubbed my back in slow, soothing circles.

I thought that Alex must have been waiting for this moment for a while now, but he never pushed me to tell him. He had been infinitely patient with me these last few months.

Just like that, Alex held me while I slowly choked out some tales from my past. I couldn't tell him everything all at once, it was too hard. But now that we were together, we had all the time in the world. We just needed to take things slow.

Alex took everything I told him well. He didn't look at me with hatred or disgust. He growled angrily when I told him about Kyle and teared up when I told him how I had tried to kill myself.

When I was done, Alex said, "If only I could rewind time."

I shook my head, "I would prefer not to rewind time ever again. I just want to live in these moments from now on. We'll be together forever from now on."